A Life is a Life, No Matter How Small

“A life is a life, no matter how small.” Suddenly today, as I was thinking about it being the 23rd and about us getting ready to experience the joy of a new life in our home, this little saying from Dr. Seuss’s Horton Hears A Who came to mind. Yes indeed, a life IS a life no matter how small.

As I have mentioned before, this little life growing inside of me right now is small, but not near as small as she was 7 weeks ago when I was admitted to the hospital in pre-term labor. She is small now… but she certainly has life and can sustain life, and she reminds me of that constantly throughout the day with all her kicks, pokes and somersaults. I continue to pray daily, sometimes hourly, for this precious daughter of mine, just as I have done with both of my boys. I pray for her health, her safety, and for her to enter this world whole and full of life.

I returned to the doctor again yesterday, a day earlier than my scheduled appointment, due to some “issues”. I was again put on the monitors for a non-stress test in the office and was checked out to ensure that Faith Clare was doing well. Thankfully she is doing great. But honestly, I was frustrated… and when my doctor said that my uterus was “irritable” that word seemed to fit my mood perfectly. I was annoyed that I was having more issues- again. I was annoyed that I wasn’t feeling great. I was just annoyed at the day and it was only 10:30- good start huh?

Sometimes I guess we can all let our minds wander and mine went yesterday to a place it hasn’t been in some time. I started thinking… what is the deal? I am not one of those mothers. Why all these “issues”? I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I listen to my doctor when she says bedrest, I take my prenatals, my procardia, my folic acid, my fish oil pills, my calcium, I cut out almost all caffeine (chick-fil-A sweet tea and some chocolate here and there can do my MIND some good!)… and yet, here I am constantly thinking about the health and safety of my baby. Whatever!?

Thankfully, after hearing that I’ll be off bedrest officially at 36 weeks and will be getting off the procardia in a week and a half, I left the office in a better mood. However, some of those questions… some of those thoughts stayed with me. How come some people do everything right and still loose babies? And then some people appear to do everything wrong and still end up having healthy babies, despite the addictive lifestyles they lead while carrying a child inside? Why is it that some of my friends can’t get pregnant at all when they only long to be able to carry a child of their own?

These questions, as many of you know, could go on and on and on. And yet, the only thing that I could come up with yesterday, the only answer that gives me comfort and peace and reassurance, is that NO ONE does everything right. We are all products of the fall and all have sinned… we have ALL fallen short of the glory of God. All of us but Jesus that is. And it was Jesus that said to come to Him like little children. Like our own little children… I suppose like my little Deacon, who says long before the 20-week “medical cutoff” for the definition of a “miscarriage”- “Look mama, she has a baby in her tummy?” Yep. Like him… with trust and innocence like that sweet child that Jesus has entrusted me with.

Okay… so back to this saying. This silly little saying in a movie, “a life is a life no matter how small,” has been quoted often and apparently done so to the dislike of Dr. Seuss himself who said it didn’t reflect his personal stance on any particular ideals and didn’t want it used by pro-life proponents. That's fine, maybe to him it doesn’t mean anything, but to me it speaks volumes. That statement alone encompasses almost every moment of this past year of my life, and will always reflect my views from now on. That statement, although not taken from the Bible, is biblical and is the sole reason we had enough faith to continue our pregnancy with Maddox when all of the cards were stacked against us.

So what does this have to do with today, with this 23rd day of October? Today is a day of truth and forgiveness as I long to honor the life of my son on his 9-month birthday. Today’s struggle for truth is to stand firmly for what I believe because I trust in a God that is faithful to us and to His Word- His Word that speaks so clearly.

What?? you are wondering… More clearly please? Okay… here it is.

For me, for my family, it comes down to this… I currently feel a very heavy burden for this upcoming presidential election. I have gone back and forth, struggling as to what I can post for fear of upsetting anyone… about clearly stating my position. But after yesterday… after the frustration and all the questions running through my mind, there was no doubt left that I needed to be clear. So the truth? Truth is that a life IS a life, no matter how small. I know that. As my friend Angie stated in her blog, it is a clear and absolute truth. And do I feel that one ticket supports that position and one does not? Absolutely. Now, as Angie mentioned, I also am not a “one issue” girl; however, THIS issue to me is the issue that directs our nation. As you probably have figured out, I support life. I support each child’s right to life and for God’s right to determine how long that life will be here on earth… not our right to decide, but His. I have been shaped by personal experience and without a doubt it has changed who I am.

So what is the “forgiveness” part then you wonder? The forgiveness I mentioned when I said today is a day of truth and forgiveness? The forgiveness for me is for so many years of not knowing exactly where I stood on all of this… not until I myself was faced with the reality of it. The forgiveness for me in the fact that although I was a Christian, somehow my little mind missed the HUGE portions in the Bible that clearly stated how the Lord values life, at all ages and gestations, and it is HIS sole right to take that life away. Maybe it was just convenient to not have an opinion or somehow be able to "see both sides."

What about this? Maybe some of us have defended a woman’s “right to choose” or have sat rather unresponsive when another asked us our opinion of this critical life-or-death issue. Maybe we didn’t know. Maybe we didn’t have an answer. Maybe we just didn’t want to be criticized or judged. Or, maybe some have been faced with that terrible decision, and for whatever reason and whatever the circumstances, made a choice that once decided, could never be taken back. Many of us have repented and have asked for forgiveness for what has been laid on our hearts regarding this issue… many still might need to do so. But regardless of where you are in the process, I want to assure you that once you have given it over to the Lord, it is done. We are forgiven. As Angie Smith just posted, it’s called restoration... being "ransomed." I rest in the truth of that restoration… and in the fact that the Lord gave us, our family, the opportunity to outwardly demonstrate that we trusted Him above all else… As a result, we saw the precious face of our tiny Maddox and it was all worth it. His life was a life… it was small, it was short, but above all, it deserved to be protected.

As those of you who know me know, I am not much of a “political” girl. However, on this day, as I think of my precious boy’s life and also about the direction of this country, I have felt compelled to share my clear stance on one significant issue that absolutely pierces my heart. To be clear… I am pro-life and I am pro-choice… God’s choice for our lives and what that entails. I am pro-prayer. I am pro-creationism… and pro-science… science that can clearly prove micro-evolution but has yet to be able to prove macro-evolution. I am pro-freedom. I am pro-military. I am also pro-McCain and pro-Palin. But, as I stated, I am also pro-prayer… meaning that I will continue praying for God’s will in our country, for His will in this election, and ultimately for whoever gets voted into the highest office in this land. I will pray for them to be responsible. I will pray for their discernment and wisdom and leadership. This country needs so much prayer as we face what appears to me to be an uncertain moral future. Will you please join me in praying for this country? Will you please join me in praying for all of the little lives across this country… born or unborn… no matter how small?

Happy 9 months Maddox! I know you are so happy in your Father's hands!


"If my people, which are called by my name shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land."- 2 Chronicles 7:14

Comments

Williams family said…
I just wanted you to know you aren't alone. As I lay here on bedrest, I let my mind wander to questions like you did. I wrote you before about how I lost my precious Max at 24 weeks last Sept. I am now 24w 1d pregnant with twin boys. A blessing I know! However, Ive been in and out of Labor and Delivery due to contractions. Now on full bedrest...and lost my job because of the bedrest. So, please know that you are not the only healthy mom who does everything right and has to have such a hard pregnancy! I hope that the remainder of your pregnancy goes well. Hang in there!
Kelly
M said…
I am stillpraying for you and your baby girl. I have questioned God in the same sense... I am envious of those who concieve easily and have easy pregnancies... however I do realize how blessed I am just to get to take the journey as I know you do too. I voted today and while there are many issues that bother me about the liberal view, the right to life is the biggest issue. Hang in there... you are almost there to see your sweet girl!
Em and the Fam said…
Thank you for sharing your heart. I appreciate your sincerity and honesty. I appreciate your transparency, although it might me negative feedback from others who do not share your view. Thank you for continuing to blog about the vulnerabilities of your life and experiences so that I might learn through your journey how God grants peace through the storms and how He carries His children through the most difficult times.

I read your blog and hope from the depths of my being that your new life in Faith Claire will be typical and healthy.

Thank you again for sharing your journey. Though you are learning as you walk through it, you are allowing me to learn, too.
Laurie said…
I love you Kenzie and you know that I stand where you stand on this. Sweet Maddox, 9 months, still hard to wrap my heart around it. I am with you in praying for our leaders to do the right thing. Each and every life allowed into being in the womb is a gift of God with the highest value, never an accident nor a mistake. Our God is Pro-Life, so much so that He sent His son to redeem us in this fallen world. He KNEW us before He formed us in our mothers wombs, this is how much He values each life and knows us so personally. And I especially pray for the Roe vs Wade mother who has been forgiven and restored and speaks to have this changed. It has to be a heavy burden to carry for a choice made so long ago. Sorry Kenzie, but this topic burns hot in my heart for the little ones who can't speak for themselves and the mothers to be able to be still and hear the voices of their unborn babies and their Creator. I am praying for you my friend and for Faith Clare to continue to grow strong and healthy, even in the times you feel frustrated:) I love you girl and Maddox continues to dance on my heart.

Love, Laurie in Ca.
Mandi said…
Kenzie,

This is a well-written post and I am right there with you! I love what you said about being pro-choice...allowing God who is Sovereign to decide how long a life should last. I, too, am concerned about the moral future of our country and will join you in praying for our leaders.

Mandi
I think they are often babies before they are even conceived...they are meant to be and who are we to take that choice away from God? I'm pro-choice, so long as that choice isn't killing unborn children. Choosing not to have sex, choosing to keep your baby or to place the baby for adoption, those are all choices...

God Bless You...
Mills Family said…
I have been following your blog for a few months, and have been touched by your story. I had so many AMEN moments while reading this post, and I won't bore you with them all, but as the mother of a stillborn son, and three miscarried children I know your frustrations, I understand your desire to protect life, and I hear your concerns for our Country's future. Praying with you in Ohio...
bri said…
I am praying for your little Faith Clare to be a fighter and strong. I love when God makes Miracles happen and we get to be a part of it! Father let this family be a part of Faith Clare's miracle!

I am a mother who has lost our 3 children all in the middle of my pregnancies (23w,17w,21w). They were all "healthy" but apparently my body just cannot hold them in. I stayed on bed rest for a very long time and still nothing worked to stop me from delivering.

I know your heart is missing Maddox on his 9 month b.day. I still think of our babies every time we pass a "significant date" and it has been almost 2 years since our last daughter was born.

It is also hard for me to see mothers that mistreat their children while carrying them or even after they have them. (We are foster/adopt parents now) So we see a lot that makes us question "why can they have healthy pregnancies/babies and not me?" "I am saved and I walk according to the BIBLE (most days with God's helping hand (over my mouth)Ü)and still I get to sit by and watch everyone else 'who could care less they are having children' be blessed in my eyes."

I am trying to have a better attitude toward even those people. We are after all getting to parent these children that are not taken care of or "unloved".

My heart definitely fears the political campaigns that are going on right now. THAT "MAN" HAS GOT TO BE STOPPED. It is very frightening that so many people are blinded by the charm, and sweet talking. I cannot stand that there are so many for the murder of unborn/partial born babies. It is indeed a life no matter how small!


Blessings,
bri, TX
connie said…
Oh, Kenzie.
First, I LOVED the picture of Maddox in his Earthly father's hands next to "I know you are so happy in your Father's hands."

And second, you have said what has weighed heavily on my heart these past few weeks. I couldn't come up with words like this to say it, but it has to be said, and it isn't denying that God can use anyone, OR that some people don't have their positive points .. but a stance on the value of life, ANY life, is all that matters to me right now.

Each of the babies I've met through your "group" have provided a very clear picture of the beauty and value that exists in just one life.

Thank you for saying what I don't nearly have the words to express.
love, connie
Anonymous said…
A BIG AMEN!
I'm praying for you.
Keep posting.
Joanna
Jenn said…
Kenzie, You are so right. I never really ever experienced the depth of my pro-life stand until I met my 25 baby boy face to face. Now I feel even more that I must speak for him, who had no voice, as well as the many others like him who die by the hundreds daily. Thank you for sharing from your heart!

Blessings to you!
Jenn
Emily said…
Oh AMEN. Amen to all of it.

Praying for you and baby Faith.

Happy 9 Month Birthday to Maddox and Happy 16 Month Birthday to Miller Grace. :)

We praise you, Lord!
zanesmommy said…
Happy 9 month birthday Maddox. Him and my Micah are 11 days apart and in heaven. Second, a dear friend of mine posted a great statement of how to vote based on biblical truths. http://colenesjoys.blogspot.com/2008/08/voting-tips-from-proverbs.html

By justice a ruler builds up the land,
but he who exacts taxes heavily tears it down.
Proverbs 29:4

She goes on to explain it. But how clear.

Still praying for you and your family.
Cathy said…
Yes, yes, yes! Nothing else need to be said. Thank you, sista!
Penny said…
Amen! I think we all need to be diligently praying for our nation and the moral erosion that is happening before our eyes. I can't imagine the tears our sweet Jesus has cried for so many of His lost lambs.
Our nations needs a moral outcry now!
Vanessa said…
I'm still lifting you and Faith in my prayers! I know of another tiny little miracle that made her appearance 16 weeks early and you can check her out at www.hopeforlydia.blogspot.com She's a pefect example that God is a powerful and Almighty Lord!!
Hang in there and I know God will continue to let Faith grow stronger each day until she makes her grand apperance!
karina said…
Kenzie,
I'm talking to my screen, "Preach it Sister!" Truly. A life is a life no matter how small, and that belief, and more importantly the exercise of that belief (or lack thereof) has a PROFOUND effect on the direction of our nation, and our world. We must pray diligently, vote as God calls us personally to vote, trust Him for the outcome even if it doesn't look like what we expect it to look like, which is true in all things.

And even those things that seem backwards and unfair. I learned relatively early in my infertility struggle to let go of the Whys. The answer can be found in Matthew 5:44-46 (NIV) "But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?"

What this says to me is that good things (sun) and bad things (rain) happen to everyone on earth because, well, that's how God set it up. The truth is that none of us deserves God's blessing, He gives it based on HIS mercy, grace and love for us, and He offers those things to everyone. Asking all those whys only leads us to judge others, and become bitter, even toward God, and it robs us of our ability to truly LOVE people, especially our enemies whom Christ called us to love.

Stepping off my soapbox now>>

I hope that on this anniversary of Maddox's birthday that you are granted more of God's peace and comfort than your heart can hold. I have so enjoyed reading your blog these last few months.

I continue to pray for baby Faith.
Wonderful post. My husband says his "real" issue on picking a Presidential candidate to support is what kind of Supreme Court Justice they would pick-- Life does matter, it is the core issue at how you look at everything else. Rejoicing that even though it's not been a smooth road that you are still pregnant and doing better.
katrynka said…
I hope that I can phrase this in a way that is not adversarial, but accurately conveys what I think.

One thing that comes to mind is that years ago, I was a part of a non-denominational church. There was one talk that the pastor gave that has really stuck with me...your actions, choices, thoughts ect are governed by your fundamental belief system. How can we hold someone without that belief system to the same "code"? They do not function with the same paradigm's, so they do not come up with the same results.

Secondly, I do happen to be against abortion as a choice for me... but I cannot make that choice for someone else. I feel that people who truly believe that women should not have an abortion should "put their money where their mouth is". By that I mean do not march, spend money on anti-abortion campaigns. But rather spend your resources on helping the women whom you want to make the "right" choice. Help them go back to school, work, learn good parenting, give them a home to live in if needed, so that they can give their children the lives that they so richly deserve.

I have spent many years providing home health services to people in the inner city, with lives that some of us cannot begin to comprehend. It has often crossed my mind, that as the Lord does know our days before we are born, perhaps He knows that a certain child's life is better returned to Him, rather than the horrible life it would be subjected to here on earth. (Not that He chooses that, but as He created us all, believer or not, He still loves those who have made a different choose than another would make.)

This is from someone who has never been able to have a child, and has taken care of the severely premature, or sometimes brain damaged children of births that the mother did not want to occur, of the mother addicted to drugs and so on.
I love these children, they do not have to be perfect to be loved, but a small sad portion of them never experience pleasure in life, just pain, or lack of pain.
Anonymous said…
Just a quick word of caution - I was told that pregnant women should not take Fish oil unless you know 100% that the fish did not contain mercury? I'm sure you already knew that, but just in case. Blessings to you and your sweet family!
The VW's said…
Amen! I'll be praying!
Kara said…
Well stated Kenzie! Happy Birthday Maddox! I will continue to pray for you and Faith, and the country during this time. Thanks for the honest post and reminder to pray for our leaders!
Jackie said…
Praying along with you.
Thank you for your post.
Meredith said…
Thank you for sharing your heart! Please know that you and your little girl are in my prayers!
walkingbyfaith said…
I completely agree. I have been praying for this election for a very long time now, and I too am completely pro-life. No matter how hard I prayed or how much I thought or tried to learn more about the candidates, the only thing my heart and mind could focus on was that one candidate was pro-choice and one was pro-life. I had to vote for the man I trust will fight for the unborn. :)
Kirsten said…
Kenzie,

I love you, girl!!! You are so awesome! You have such a beautiful and sensitive heart. What a blessing you are to so many - your example and boldness is good for all of us. I stand in agreement with everything you posted.

We are praying for Faith Clare daily. It has been a long pregnancy for you (which of course is great, but also hard). Faith is clearly a fighter, like her mama, and she is a witness to God's faithfulness already. He is with you each step of the way - for the entire journey.

Prayers, love, hugs and smiles to you and your precious family.

Blessings,
Kirsten
Emily said…
What a wonderful post! I can't tell you how many times I have thought of Maddox & Poppy Joy & Tristan & all of these sweet babies. I think about all of you precious mommies that have had to say goodbye to your sweet babies far too early & your resolve to get through the pain & never forget your little angels. I know that God has everything under control whether we remember that or not. I, too, am Pro-life & that is my #1 issue because these little lives can not speak for themselves but they deserve the right to have a life. Thank you so much for your post & for your stand & for sharing your heart! I just wish everyone could use basic common sense especially on this issue!
Emily in Mississippi
Carla Burlando said…
Great post! I wrote on the same sort of topic in my post "why is it so hard to take a stand" on www.carlaburlando.blogspot.com
I am not a "political" girl either and kind of wanted to avoid the whole thing but my frustrations had to be let out :) I am Canadian but am married to an American and follow closely the election. I'm getting really sick of all the character assasination, slander, lies etc. especially related to Governer Palin. And this is mostly from Canadians!...who aren't even involved. It makes me sick. They take an intellegent, well spoken, educated, strong woman with great moral values and make her into a back woods, hillbilly with the IQ of 80 and a secret "scary" agenda. Its ridiculous. I might not vote for a candidate based on issues and my disagreement of where they stand on them (or failure to stand for much of anything)....but that doesn't give me the right (especially as a Christian) to revel in slander, malice , gossip and untruth. What ever happened to respect. I wouldn't vote for Obama based on the issues but I respect him as an intellegent, well spoken , well intentioned man who desires to serve his country.
I realized recently though when we stand for righteousness and strive to serve God as well as our counry...we will face persecution, its inevitable.
densgirl96 said…
Beautifully said, sweet sister! I am praying with you about our nation. Oh, that the church would wake up and make herself ready for her Bridegroom!
kari j said…
Amen sweet sister! God definitely helped you phrase that thought!
That is also how I feel and, like you, have come to many of those revelations over the past few years although feeling like I was a Christian for longer.
God wants us to search His word and choose a candidate based on that!
AMEN!
Thanks for encouraging so many through your blog, Kenzie. You're awesome.
love,
kari
Anonymous said…
I have been reading your blog for some time and praying for your family. Thank you for writing it, it helps me sometimes to know what to expect next. My baby, Jake, would be 18 weeks old today. He was stillborn June 20th at 41 weeks. (Trisomy 18) I too have been changed forever and am burdened by the pro-life issue as never before. Jake "lived" inside of me for 9 months even though he never breathed air.
Kathy said…
An eloquent post, Kenzie!

I do find it fascinating that those who profess to be liberal and for "rights" are the same who use such horrible slander against a woman who simply has differing views. Whatever happened to "agree to disagree"?

What about the rights of the unborn? Do only the women count because they are voters? As for the horrendous late term abortion that Mr. Obama protected, as an OB nurse and having spoken to many, many OB doctors NO ONE thinks that that procedure would ever save a mother's life.

I highly recommend reading the books (not audio, they have been changed) of Mr. Obama. On the outside he seems to be the whole package:
good looks - check
eloquent - check
charistmatic - check

He is beloved of the media for sure but when you delve into who he really is and what his values are... Of course, only God can look upon the heart but we are to be educated when we vote.

I was horrified to read that little Trig Palin is "rare". 80 - 90% of Down's syndrome babies are never allowed to be born. God forgive us all.

Thank you for your thoughtfulness, honesty and your commmitment to all precious life. Praying for you and for sweet little Faith.
Praying also for our country.

I, like you, dear Kenzie, have always had a hard time attempting to understand the "whys" of life and so appreciate that it's not really expected of me. I, like you, choose to allow God to be in control. Maybe when we are in heaven we learn the big picture. In the meantime, we pray for that peace that passes all understanding. May we all rest in it.

God bless you and hold you tightly in the palm of His hand,
Kathy


I believe that prayer is our biggest weapon to uphold the values this country was based on.
Corie said…
Great post! Im not much of a political person either, but this issue has been on my mind a lot. Life IS life no matter how small. Thank you for sharing so clearly.
Aimee said…
I have a feeling that I may be in the minority here but I just have to say this. I respect everyone's opinion and I am also against abortions. But I am Pro-Choice because I know that my beliefs are my beliefs and I have a really hard time legislating my beliefs when I know it will impede on other people's beliefs. This country was founded on the seperation of church and state and it is one of our strongest constitional rights to believe any religion we choose or the freedom to no religion at all. In my opinion, if we base laws on religious beliefs (and the reason against abortion is based on religious beliefs) we are guilty of breaking the constitional foundation of this country and we are guilty of telling others that they have to live their lives based on the "religious beliefs" of others. NO ONE likes abortion and to declare Obama any less of a christian just because he is upholding the constitutional rights of the people in this country is narrow minded. If someone is Pro-Life, then that person should never have an abortion, they should work in their communities and churches educating people, they should raise their children with these beliefs but we should not live in a country where christian doctrine is allowed to determine laws. And I think it's reckless to vote for a person based on where they stand on this issue when there are so many more issues that affect people on a larger scale. Pro-life and Pro-choice is a personal issues. I say this with all due respect and I will continue to pray for the people of this world.
jen said…
i love your blog. i am late commenting on this but i assume you will get the comment and i really don't need anyone else to see it anyway. I am a Christian and I struggle a bit to see the rational behind what seems to be just favoring one life over the other. You say in this post you are pro-military. Isn't that somwhat contradicting your views on the preciousness of life? There are so many innocent people (civilians etc) dying in this war. I imagine the family members left here on earth after tragety are just as passionate as you are of the unborn as they are about how wrong this war is to be killing the innocent. I admit to not knowing all the facts here and I say this all with total respect to you. I just wish i could understand that rational. It seems that most Christians agree with the political side you do and I just wish I could understand. I want to agree but I just think that abortion will never become illegal. No matter who is in power. So shouldn't we elect someone who wants to stop war and save life? Not unborn life but life already established on earth? All life is equal.

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