Giveaway Winner!

And

the winner

 is...

Congratulations Suzanne! Email me and I'll be sure to get your Anti-Age regimen to you this week. Thank you to all who participated in this giveaway. Have a blessed Memorial Day weekend!

"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."- Philippians 3:14

My WHY... (and a Giveaway!!)

Some things have changed around here in the last two weeks and I am very excited about this new journey! And these recent changes have prompted me to some thinking... (something that I feel I probably don't do enough of, at least regarding the long-term). I've been settling in on my why. It's simple really. Why do I do some things and not others? What is it that drives me? What motivates me to be confident in who and where I am right now?

What I've realized is that everyone's why is different and clearly your why is often determined by so many varying factors. Are you married, dating or single? Do you have 1 child, 8 children, or none? Are you comfortable with your daily/weekly workload or would your prefer to cut back? Do you have free time and if so, what do you do with it? What are you saving for? Or do you spend too much? What are you giving to? Or has your "generosity" not been tapped into? What stirs your heart and makes you eager with anticipation? Who is at the foundation of your life? What is it all worth and what are you willing to do to make something happen?

What's new for me is a job. Crazy huh? I'm a working girl again... and I love it! I love it for so many reasons but my #1 reason is because... dah-dah-dah-daaaah... I can still do it at home, while being a mama. Not likely, you are probably thinking... but, I assure you, it is in fact something I can do here. And the best thing is that this job opportunity, this timing, gets at the very heart of MY why.

My why: I am married to an amazing man and we have 3 children here, 1 in heaven. I, for the most part, have been comfortable with my workload (Dusty says it should really be called "overwhelming", but I am good with comfortable!) around here managing the majority of the household responsibilities as well as the kiddos. I haven't noticed a plethora of free-time in the past 6 1/2 years so I can't really speak to what I would do with it. But, being honest, oftentimes I feel like I could do so much more besides "the daily routine" and I have been longing to figure out how I would ever mesh a career and still be able to be home. Plus, in regards to what we are saving for... well, we aren't saving for much of anything. In fact, that area has taken a major hit since we decided for me to be home for the last 5 years. I pray almost every day that the Lord will find us faithful in our decision for me to be home and that He will honor this sacrifice of the "financial abundance." One income is hard for most everyone, impossible for many... And yet we are giving where we can because that is what stirs my heart. And what makes me eager with anticipation? The thought of building something great for my family, and us leaving a legacy of hard work, dedication and perseverance only through strength in the Lord. And because of that, my heart lies in the ability to create that legacy for a child who has none because he has no family. Adoption is at the very foundation of what stirs my heart.

So that's it. It's simple really. My why...

"To be a giver... to my world, my family, and to a child somewhere who needs one. 

To love well... MY world, THE world, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 

To treasure life and live it with purpose and meaning! 

To leave all of this as a legacy..."

And regarding this job? Well, it's amazing. And it's my why that drives me. It can be full-time or part-time as I see fit. It's about growing a market, growing myself, and coaching others to do the same. It's about a belief system in my company and those above me, in my incredible products, and the knowledge that I am right where I am supposed to be at just the right time. The market is untapped, the earning potential is staggering, and the opportunity is unlimited. Yes, indeed, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." (Phil 4:13)

Think about your life and your why. And as you do that I want you to ponder a few more... think about your when and what is between you and your goal? How will you get there? Could this be for you? What are you pouring in to and are you creating a lasting legacy in and for your family?

I shared my goal and that's where I'm headed.

GIVEAWAY

As a thank-you for all of the incredible support and love over the past 4 1/2 years in this blog world, I want to offer a giveaway for the first time ever!! I have been asked to do giveaways before but have never accepted so I am thrilled to do the first giveaway ever with my own products!

I want to invite you to take a 1-minute skincare assessment on my new website. There is no obligation to do anything except spend one minute answering 8 questions. Once you do that, enter your email address as the last step (I will get an email that you did it- only comes to me) and you will be entered to win up to a $200 skincare regimen that the doctors personally recommend to you. All entered will be assigned a number and next Sunday (5/27) I will draw and announce a winner. Just think, if you win you will end up with the most beautiful skin of your life... for free!

Directions:
1. Go to https://kenzie.myrandf.com/
2. Click on Customize Your Routine, Start Solution Tool, Start Consultation
3. Complete assessment.
4. Enter your email address to receive a copy of your personal recommendation and be entered for the contest.
5. Winner announced Sunday, 5/27/12 

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."- Philippians 4:13

It's Friday, But Sunday's Coming...

Monday was somewhat heavy and I still can't get it off my mind.  I woke up, got ready and dropped the little 2 off with a friend.  I made my way to church where a girl I worked with, someone I would consider a friend, was being celebrated. Normally celebrations are fantastic... but Monday there were tears. Lindsay was being celebrated in this life because she has graduated to her eternal one with the Lord.

This graduation was not of her choosing. She had so much life ahead and a precious young daughter that she did everything for. She couldn't have imagined that it was her time. Her family still can't begin to comprehend the tragedy. And yet, in this crazy, sad, fallen world... somehow the Lord knew. 

The service was emotional, both funny and heart-wrenching. But the message- WOW- the message. It was just amazing and the phrase that was used, borrowed if you will, was from the famous Pastor S.M. Lockridge. His sermon, used one Resurrection morning decades ago, was entitled "It's only Friday, but Sunday's coming..." and it spoke deep into my heart. It encompassed my life, especially 2007 & 2008, but can still be where I live today.  I know in large part it encompasses your life too.

The fundamental message spoke to hopelessness, despair, tragedy and fear. It spoke to disappointment and even to death itself.  We, today, are living in our Friday.  Things aren't ever as we imagine them. Marriages, as desperately as we cling to them, still fail. Jobs, which provide us security and purpose, evaporate. Expectations we have of family or friends or even strangers never seem to hold their weight and people don't come through. Parents die. Spouses die. Even our children die. There are far too many of us that have lived through these things... And then as you begin to think more about it, each of us will encounter a complete undoing ... all because it's only Friday.

Just like the Friday that God gave up His Son. On that awful, sickening, terrifying day when death truly did win.

The redemption for each of us, however, comes on Sunday. And Sunday's coming...

Sunday is where all of my hope lies. That beautiful Sunday when I will see my Savior face to face. I will hold my Maddox again. When I will hug my father-on-law, my grandparents, and sweet Lindsay, whose family is just beginning their Friday.

Sunday is the blessed assurance of what we will inherit.
Sunday is the reason we can survive with hope and joy.
Sunday is why we wake up and put our two feet on the ground.
Sunday gives us everything our hearts desire but our hands can't grasp... because in reality death didn't win. God did.

"It's Friday, But Sunday's Coming..."  Don't despair or give up hope. Tragedy strikes and fear takes over, but remember that today just might be your Friday. This earth is Friday... but Sunday's coming.

Thank you, Lord, for Sunday!


YouTube of Pastor S.M. Lockridge's own words

"I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope." Psalm 130:5

Christ Has Risen...

and we are blessed!

HAPPY EASTER

"But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." -Romans 5:20-21

Strange Things

As January rolls around, strange things start happening in me. I'm fine one minute and not the next. Memories swirl. Moments replay. Worship is like opening a floodgate. It's literal music to my ears and yet, scissors to my heart. The week before. The fear and worry. The granted peace and knowledge of truth. The scrambling. The craziness. The room and nurses and doctors. The clear voices and the muffled silence.

Emotions overcome me at the most unexpected times and quite honestly, as silly as this sounds, each year I forget this happens. I never seem to have my makeup handy when I need it and a puffy-faced, tear-streaked mama pretty much always draws attention, whether people want to say anything or not. I'm not actually surprised it does happen, just caught off guard when I'm not "prepared."

Sunday was that day for me so far and as hard as I tried, I couldn't stop the tears from falling.  I was fine with it in the middle of worship.  I mean, I have that written in my Bible and I couldn't help but laugh later.  worship- coming completely undone in the sight of the Lord.  That was definitely me! But then during the service (which was about lust none-the-less!) the tears were still rolling. (People probably thought I was upset about the message... wonder how that looked!?) I even had to excuse myself before service got out and cried in a bathroom.

So I'll be honest... logically, this doesn't make sense.  Four years ago I was (unknowingly) a week out from meeting and saying goodbye to our son. NO DOUBT that is emotional.  But again, head knowledge and heart truth tell me that everything is just how it was ordained to be.  The Lord saw fit to call Maddox home.  His body was not intended for this place... he is spending eternity with his Lord and Savior, not just mine.  That is mind-blowing to me.  He is not in pain, hurting or truthfully even concerned with what is going on down here.  He is full-time with the Lord. He is good. So are we. So then... what's with being overwhelmed with tears?

Throughout the year, I am usually good.  It's a rare occasion to see me crying about what could-have, should-have, might-have been.  It's not what is and I trust the Lord. FULLY. We talk about Maddox.  He is included in nightly prayers (not praying for him but thanking Jesus for his life). His life, his purpose, his sickness, heaven, prayer, healing, redemption, faith, undying love... it's all part of our family. It's part of our conversation and part of who we are.

And still... four years later I grieve.

And I'm sure you know why.  The thought of losing a child is beyond comprehension. The thing is, it's not about him.  It's completely, selfishly about me... It's about not having the four children that I have birthed with me. It's about not knowing if his eyes would have changed color like my older two or if he could be into Cars like Deacon was or legos like he is now. It's about wondering if that void will ever be fully filled and knowing that this side of heaven, the Lord is going to have to take it because a piece of me is missing. It's about having so little time with him and fearing he will be forgotten. It's about heart and head and worship and prayer.

It's knowing it's okay when it doesn't feel like it at that moment. Knowing it's okay to hurt, to grieve, to miss him and long for heaven... and ultimately, it's okay to know that this is somehow all part of God's revised plan. This world isn't as He designed it so nothing is how it "should" be. But, He is bigger than just a plan A. Mine or His own. And my simple knowledge that my son is rejoicing and spending eternity with Our Creator... well, when you get right down to it, that's all that matters.

So as strange as this sounds... it still feels strange to grieve like this after years have passed. Our family is filled with joy and love and laughter... but for this mama it is still emotional and sad, even having the faith that we do in Christ Jesus.

So if you know someone who has lost a child, at any age or gestation... Please just love on them a little extra hard. Whatever feels right to you is most likely appropriate and if you don't feel comfortable in person, let them know in a card, email or text. It does a grieving parent's heart good to know that their child is treasured by others, both remembered and loved.

"He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the LORD is the key to this treasure."- Isaiah 33:6

Pondering Mary

I've been thinking so much about Mary lately.  Yep, Jesus' mother Mary. And not just because my little 3-year-old played her in the preschool play (which I have to admit was adorable), but because of the story itself.  All the things briefly referenced in the Bible, but none dwelt upon. About her pure faith. About her obedience. About her age, her fears, the responsibility on her shoulders. About her willingness to do what God the Father called her to, without question. About her favor with the Lord to be chosen to raise the Son of Man.

I remember one of the very first posts I did when I began this blog, asking the question "if Mary would have known how everything would go, how it would all turn out and how she would watch her Son die, would she have still done it?" Would she have said to the angel Gabriel "I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as you have said." (Luke 1:38)? I'm not clear as to how much she understood the prophesy of the Old Testament and how it would be fulfilled through her Son, the Messiah... but I am pretty sure, even through all of the worry and struggle and fear, she would have still done it. She would have faced the ridicule and slander of a pregnancy that no one could comprehend. She would have traveled days on the back of a donkey, nearly in labor, only to give birth in a stinky stable, surrounded by animals. She would have fled to Egypt to live among strangers, to flee a king who wanted to kill her newborn son, the True King.

She would have done all of that. She did do that and so much more. And yet somehow, none of it is about her.  

She wasn't perfect. She wasn't without sin. She was just chosen, and called to a purpose so much greater than her own. She found favor with God.

At a time of year when I look at my children, my husband, my decorated tree, my home, the food, and friends and family, I can't help but give thanks. ...And then every once in a while I get a little somber thinking about my child that isn't here. The one who doesn't have a Christmas program or a party to attend.  The one I don't get to see open gifts, sing silly carols, or toast with sparkling cider. The one that is remembered only through pictures and ornaments hanging in his memory. I honestly get sad and know that something is missing...

Until once again I hear Jesus whispering, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9) 

I remember once again that it's not about me. It's not about my plans, my wants, my struggles. It's only about finding daily favor with God. It's about walking in His ways. It's about my obedience and His love.

I didn't give birth to a king.  I certainly didn't give birth to the Savior of the World. But I did give birth to someone who changed the world... who changed my world. And if Mary would do it all again, as I know she would, who am I to say that I wouldn't too. All the pain, the hurt, the fear, the suffering... I would do it again. For one life saved, I would do it again.

And although I don't get to see my Maddox opening gifts on Christmas morning, I can't imagine the glory and splendor he celebrates in the presence of the one who is being lifted up across the globe. While Mary and I have very little in common, we are both mothers of sons who have gone before us, and just as she treasured all the mysterious happenings in her heart... so do I.

God is faithful. God is true. And God works in ways we will only fully understand when we are in His presence worshiping at His feet.

"'Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.' Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.'" ~Luke 2:8-14

ABC Catch-up

After-school neighborhood play

Baptism & Jesus- both here to stay!
 
Chapmans welcome us to London

Deacon's 6th birthday. Oh, what fun!

ER visits, both for Sister

Faith Clare turns three and is still a twister

Grandma Nan is coming to town

Humidity in November... we might really drown!

Ita and Bob stay for a week

Jammies off in the night, I still have to peek :)

Kindergarten~ fun and learning astound

Lego stuck in her nose, "incidents" abound

Mimi and Papa stop for a visit

Nebraska roadtrip, both smile and fit

Ohio State/NE game in the rain

Pool party for all 3 helps mommy stay sane

Quiet isn't found much in this house
 
Room change for baby now he sleeps like a mouse

Scout isn't a infant, he is now ONE!

Thanksgiving with friends- both turkey and bun

Uniqua costume looks so cute

Vala's Pumpkin Patch rocks in tennies or boot

Writing workshop is a favorite subject 'round here

Xrays for a stroller-crushed hand were clear

"Youth bear" loves NFL Flag Football

Zoo time in Omaha is the BEST in the fall!

 

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”- Matthew 19:14

Choices

Last night was a BIG night in our house! With what seemed like a rather mundane day, preparing for Scout's ear surgery this morning and dragging Faith Clare out of harm's way in the Target parking lot, I wasn't expecting such a joyous night.

No one announced a pregnancy. It was much more important than that. No one came home with a perfect report card, more important than that by 100 miles. We didn't celebrate an engagement or a wedding or a birthday... we celebrated a decision.

We celebrated with tears and hugs and laughter... with ice cream and phone calls and a simple bracelet.

Deacon made a decision that will change his life forever. More important than any school, or job, or girlfriend, or financial decision... As a 5-year-old boy, on the cusp of turning 6, Deacon prayed last night for the Lord to forgive him of his sins. He admitted he does wrong, spoke of his belief that Christ died on the cross for him, and invited him to live in his heart and be Lord of his life.


Deacon accepted Christ!!!!

It was with tears that I sat with him and his daddy as he prayed.  I know that he has never believed anything other than that Jesus has always been with him, loving him, carrying him... so it was funny when really all he wanted to know was when he would get baptized.  When he asked that question repeatedly, we kept redirecting him, trying to focus on the importance of Jesus and not just the outward symbol of baptism.  It wasn't until I put him to bed last night that I fully understood.  He simply told me that he's always believed that Jesus is God's Son, sent here to earth to take our place. "It's not really THAT big of a deal. I asked Jesus in my heart a long time ago," he said. *Me, beaming*

A boy beyond his years. Truly embracing the gospel, without all the fluff or minutiae to debate, and taking God at His Word- He loves us enough to send His Son to die for us.  That he understands. A son, a brother... dying. The talk of heaven, of longing, of what it means to have eternal life- none of that needs to be explained because in his short years, he's lived it. And he LOVES THE LORD not in spite of it, but because of it. Doesn't personal experience have so much to do with the choices we each make? Experience dictates our behavior, our thoughts, and ultimately our actions. And I love the choice our oldest child made last night.

Praise you God for using life experience to allow Deacon to know you more intimately.  Despite the questions and fear, the child-like faith You speak of has been displayed right before my eyes. Thank you Jesus, for allowing me to get a up-close glimpse of you through the innocence and belief of a child. We praise you and celebrate like there is no tomorrow!... And we know there was a big celebration in Heaven last night... Maddox was one of the happiest of all.

"But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."- Romans 5:20-21

My 2 Boys

This sweet boy of mine is officially 11 months old today!! I can't believe that in one month we will be celebrating his FIRST BIRTHDAY! Where has the time gone?

Scout, at 11 months you are a ball of energy. Even your caregivers on Sunday morning say you can't be contained!! You are standing independently and have taken a few small steps... we are waiting with baited breath for the true walking to begin. You LOVE to play and laugh, especially at your biggies who are your greatest source of entertainment. You are an eating machine and rarely will stop before every last piece of food is gone... from the whole table! You love most anything, except the hard-boiled egg yolk I gave you this morning. I couldn't help but laugh at your repeated gagging... I guess one bite was enough! You love playing with anything that is not a toy, but your freedom is more important so we have moved all of Deacon's legos for you to have free-reign of the playroom.  Funny enough, you sleep incredibly well in the pack-&-play in the study so we have let that go for now.  I figure, why does it matter?? You love Scarlet, baths, crawling super fast, your freedom and eating. You despise diaper changes, things being taken away from you, and being "boxed" in (the saucer, swing, etc.)  You are such a JOY and we are so thankful for you and your precious life!!

In other news, Kindergarten was a raging success yesterday... for everyone! D did an awesome job getting ready and being super excited in the morning. After I had snapped a few photos, he came over to the couch and looked at me, his eyes filled with tears. "I'm just gonna miss you too much to be gone all day now," he said. Of course my eyes filled instantly and I hugged him for a moment before I grabbed my camera.  I didn't want him to see how sad I was to have him leave me all day, plus I really am so excited for him so we started taking pictures again instead.

By time we got to the school he was excited, and a little disgusted that there were so many people and we had to walk far :) We got inside and stood in the kinder "holding spot" until it was time to walk to class. When they were dismissed he walked straight back, talking to other kids and parents. *joy* All three of us walked into his room where he immediately found his nametag, cubby and the play blocks sitting in front of him.  We hung around for a few minutes and when other parents started leaving, we kissed him and made our exit.  He ROCKED!!!

When we got to the car, I had a few tears but that was pretty much it.  He was amazing and I am so thankful for his confidence and excitement for school.  When he got off the bus he was all smiles and so were we. FC loved meeting him at the bus stop and he told us about several exciting things about his day- friends, how to earn prizes from the treasure box, eating lunch, working on "homework", and recess.  SUCCESS on day one of my new reality.

"The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever. Do not abandon the works of your hands."- Psalm 138:8

Guide Him

"Guide me in your truth and teach me, O LORD, 

for you are God my Father, 

and my hope is in you all day long."- Psalm 25:5

Tomorrow is Deacon's first day of Kindergarten.  I have been preparing for this day in one sense or another for 5 1/2 years... How did it sneak up on me so fast??

Deacon is ridiculously excited.  Probably a little bit like his Mama, he seems to be good at school and looks forward to learning, playing and spending social time with others.  Unlike his Mama, he has no reservations, no expectations, just pure excitement.  I LOVE IT and it's going to make it so much easier to leave him tomorrow morning.  Well, somewhat easier...

I remember watching friends get ready to send their kids off to kindergarten.  The kiddos seemed so big at the playgroups as I looked down at my little toddler and yet, watching them walk down the street to and from the bus, they seemed like babies.  That big kid walking away will be my baby tomorrow. 

Tonight we prayed over so many things- over his school, his classroom, his teacher, his classmates, their protection and health and safety.  We prayed for D's confidence and strength and excitement and friends. We asked the Father to keep His hand of love and protection over him. As we finished, I kissed his head as I always do, told him how much I love him and how excited and proud of him I am.  He grabbed my hand as I turned to walk away and pulled me back. Instead of me opening up his hand and kissing him (like in The Kissing Hand and A Pocket Full of Kisses), he opened up my hand and kissed mine right in the middle of my palm.  "I love you, Mama," he said to me. 

*sigh*

... A precious picture of my biggest boy in all his sweet essence.  Yes, he might be silly and crazy and frustrating and a rule-follower-to-a-fault, but I pray that he is all the Lord wants him to be at this exact moment in time.  He has some amazing qualities and although I would love to keep them all to myself, the time has come to share those God-given qualities with others.  I just pray that as he spends so much of his time in school now that he will bless his teachers and the other students like he has blessed us. That is all I can ask...

Thank you Lord Jesus for this amazing time at home with my boy.  Just as I must do everyday, I release Him to your care, comfort, protection and love as he heads off to this new, exciting adventure.

The Drill

 

Yesterday I took the three kids to the neighborhood pool while Dusty stayed back to fire up the grill.  The little peeps have been sick around here (actually me too!) and I decided that a little time in the sun and pool would do all of our spirits some good.  We loaded up the stroller, trekked across the busy street, came into the pool and began unloading everything.  Yes, everything. Sunscreen, towels, dive rings, torpedoes, goggles, the puddle jumper, the baby floaty, a few little squid for Scout to chew on... then I proceeded to spray everyone down.

"Does anyone need to go potty?"

With a resounding NO! the older two were off to the baby pool (of which we were parked right by) while I got S ready.

Once dressed the biggies were thrilled to get in the big pool. I made small-talk with a few neighbors I didn't know, played games with the kids, and watched them jump off the edge.  All for about 10 minutes.  Then the not-so-surprising... "I have to go pee-pee."

Sure enough it was Faith Clare. Have you ever had that moment in the pool when you really want to be like "just pee in here!" but can't say it out loud and really don't want to tell your recently-potty-trained child to go in the public pool.  Oooohh, so tempting. I'm thinking "seriously, all the kids here do it!!" but the words just can't escape my lips.

Now... the dilemma. Deacon is fairly easy because he can get out or wait for me on the steps.  But Scout... what do I do with a wet slippery baby when trying to help my 2-year-old get on a nasty pool potty.

This conversation came up this morning with a friend at church and we had to muffle our screams of laughter as we described going to the bathroom with many small children.

Here is my norm. It might be at a Buc-ee's gas station stop on our way to Dallas or San Antonio.  It might be in the bathroom at a Rudy's in College Station.  Or just right here in our own little Chick-fil-a... But wherever it happens, it's always without daddy.

Someone has to go potty. Or more likely one has to go and the other decides he/she needs to go to. I take my two walking children and my infant on my hit towards the potties.  Usually I will hear "I DON'T want to go in the girls!" from Deacon, which then gets one of several responses: "You can't go in there by yourself because I don't know who is in there.", or "Daddy says the boys bathrooms are nasty and you need to come with me.", or "You aren't quite big enough to go alone."  Sometimes you can insert *objection* but either way he follows us into the girls.

We often have to pick a stall that is big enough for all of us but many times even those don't have the changer tables for the babies.  Yes, I am that mother that will actually strap my baby TIGHT to that thing just so I have two free hands.  But, in this example we are assuming there is no changer.

We go into the stall and close the door.  The older two proceed to fight about who has to go worse and Deacon usually wins the battle because he is... well... faster.  He goes without much of an incident.  Then it is Faith Clare's turn and this is where it starts to get tricky.  Remember, I have a squirmy, fussing 9-month-old in one arm.  With the free hand I am putting paper down on the generally-not-so-clean potty.  Usually a piece or two falls in, gets wet, or falls on the ground so this is a repeat process.

Finally the paper is in place.  In one arm the squirmy baby, the other arm I am hoisting my 2-year-old up to place her on.  I usually have to say more than once, and loudly, "stop touching the potty!!!" while she is waiting to go.  Yes, wiping is actually okay and besides the occasional bumping of Faith Clare with Scout and both end up screaming, we usually manage the task alright.

Whew! Finally get her down and flush.  Then... the joys.  Yes, mommy often has to go.

Sooo, where exactly do you hold the baby? How do you unzip jeans with one hand, gets them down, hover without touching, get paper and wipe? Challenging... kinda like brain surgery and an obstacle course all at once.

And then all the ridiculous questions that I have to answer with two children watching and the third in arms.  No, mommy doesn't need to go poo-poo.  No, mommy doesn't need help.  Yes, mommy is a big girl and can do it alone.  No, you can't watch.  No, Scout can't play on the floor.  Yes, you have to wash your hands.  No, mommy doesn't pee-pee or poo-poo in her undies.  

Lately I have been excusing Deacon just for the simple fact that I'm tired of an audience and honestly, I know he can't wait to get out of there as well.

Seriously... all this just to go to the potty?!  And how many times is it GO. EAT. REPEAT.

Not easy but I guess it's just what us moms do.  If you have been there, you know the drill.  If you haven't... well, wait for the joy to begin.  Nothing is ever dull with little ones.  In fact, when not in the midst of it, it's rather hilarious! Just us motioning this morning how it all has to be done... awesome!

And so yesterday... yep, I did the unthinkable and asked a neighbor I didn't know but had been chatting it up with (and who dropped that she worked in a daycare) to hold Scout for a minute while the rest of us made our way to the potty.

Some days I wonder how people ever do this alone!

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."- Romans 15:13

Child-like

I've been thinking about babies this past week.  I've thought about the sweet blessing of innocence. I've thought about the struggles and frustration.  The ways that the Lord chooses to bless us and bring us joy. The heartache and pain and how He expects us to rely solely on Him. How He asks us to come to Him with faith like a child and how He loves us like the one and only in the world.

I look at the sweet faces of my children, three that are here and that I'm trying to raise with a legacy of Christ, and one looking into His striking face, and wonder sometimes, "WHERE DID THEY COME FROM????" They are crazy and volatile. I mean, I have kids with personality, let me tell ya. Happy and then screaming. Playing and then in a puddle of tears. "I chose this??" I think when they are fighting constantly and S is screaming at the top of his lungs. "WHO do these children belong to?" I ask when they scream at the grocery store for tortillas, to look at the lobsters in the tank, and for samples of deli ham.  These kids are so spoiled... they don't act grateful for anything... they are just mean to each other... THEY HAVE IT OUT FOR ME!

And then, just like *that*, the tables turn and I see how babyish and child-like I can be... ungrateful, screaming, mean... Sweet smiles and laughter can turn into fits of frustration in a matter of seconds. Honestly, if I could lay on the floor, face-down in a pile of slobber and pound my legs on the ground like my recently-turned 9-month-old does, well, I probably would.  I often say things that my 2-year-old and 5-year-old say like "that's not fair!", or "I waaaaant it!"but just in a more grown-up way. I'm sure the Lord glaces at me in my fits of comparison and says "Who does this child belong to?"

All the ugliness that I see in them, that I try to correct, to consequence, to discuss, and to work on, suddenly comes back straight on my head.  Do they see all those behaviors from me regularly? I sure hope not, and I don't think so.  But, what is the difference between them doing it to me in a grocery store and me doing it to God at a gathering of neighbors? My child's behavior, whether it should or not, directly reflects on me when we are surrounded by people that don't know us intimately.  My behavior, whether it should or not, directly reflects on the Lord when I profess to be a Christian.  Why do you think that people say all the time that Christians are such hypocrites? It's because we say and expect one thing and yet often act in a way that contradicts those same beliefs. It's just ugly. And yet... we are sinners.

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ...So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin." Romans 7:15, 25b

Just like our children that we continue to instruct and love through the chaos, embarrassment, questions and tantrums, God does all the same things for us.  We are sinners, plain and simple.  And isn't it funny that some lessons we have to teach to our children over and over and over are the same ones that God continues to work on with us as well.  Patience. Fear. Trust. Discipline. Contentment. ...I mean, not that those are mine or anything! ahem. Just examples.

I just love how, when I get so frustrated with them, God can open my eyes to see the truth. We all have ways to improve, things to work on, areas to grow.

Love and grace definitely have their place among the discipline and correction.  We get grace from Him, just as we give to our children (or are supposed to), and all the while He tells us that in many ways we need to grow up.  I know that I sure do and I'll take the not-so-gentle-nudging.

Faith like a child... not acting childish... and a spiritual maturity that can only come through an intimate relationship with Him. While I expect my children to act "mature" in certain arenas in life, I am also understanding that I need to lead by example. 

"Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil." Hebrews 5:13-14

Falling Out of Love

I reposted an article from iMom.com a few months ago and wanted to share one that I received the other day.  It was called "6 Ways to Fall Out of Love with Your Husband"... Huh? I was intrigued enough to follow the link and was surprised at what I found within.

I think that if most of us married women are honest, there are some days that we just don't feel the super-close connection that we once did with our husbands.  With the distractions of children, homes, jobs, activities, school and the such, the one-on-one time doesn't come as easily and at least in our home, it's more of a veg-time rather than intimate discussions and... well, "connection" on a deeper level.  When intimacy fades, even for a short period of time, forms of discontent can worm their way into the marriage and cause stress, frustration and blame.  This is otherwise known as the crazy cycle... and it's all downward from there.

We as women need to fight to keep our minds focused on "whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable- if there is anything excellent or praiseworthy- think on such things." (Phil 4:8)  We need to be reminded that God does indeed have a plan for us... for our marriages... for our husbands.  The grass is not greener on the other side- it just might seem that way because we don't live on the other side!

I love my husband more than anyone on this earth. We are doing life together and I can't imagine a day without him.  Thankfully, this article reminded me to keep focused on the sweet, imperfect gift I have in my hubby... just as he has in me.

If you are stuck in any of these thought patterns... you aren't alone because I know so many that have been; but, let this be a reminder to get our thoughts back on track.  Let's fiercely protect what God has given us and demonstrate to this world a love for our husbands that is beyond compare. 

1. Comparison Shopping

In the grocery aisle, it's a great idea. In the husband department, it's a terrible idea. Constant comparisons of your spouse to other husbands is a dangerous and imprecise game. It's dangerous because it feeds feelings of discontent with what you have, and misleading because you're comparing someone you truly know—warts and all—to someone you know only on the surface. Not sure how to change your thinking?

Check out Dr. Gary Smalley's Greatest Marriage Advice No One Wants to Hear.

2. Buying the Marriage Myth

Marriages in the movies are constant desire and ultimate satisfaction—because they're over in two hours. A real marriage is a partnership for experiencing both the joys and struggles of life. Some days are great, but some days are just downright hard. The world is imperfect, therefore you're spouse and—gasp—you are, too. Don't believe the lie that something is fundamentally wrong because everyday isn't hearts and rainbows.

Read Dr. Gary Oliver's Six Myths About Men to see if you're subjecting your spouse to a standard that's more fantasy than reality.

3. The Soul Mate Standard

In our culture, the idea of a "soul mate" is a popular concept. Soul mate syndrome suggests that there is one, perfect mate out there for each of us, and that if our relationship takes work it must be because we're not with our soul mate.  While there are key areas of compatibility that make marriage easier and should be considered before walking down the aisle, there is much that can be done after the "I do's" to make your husband your soul mate..

4. Making it All about You

Nothing kills feelings of romance in a relationship faster than constantly evaluating how you feel, what you want, and whether the current situation is fulfilling to you. In fact excessive focus on your own needs and desires will almost guarantee that they'll never be fully met.

5. Dwelling on the Negative

If you spend lots of time recounting the ways in which your husband falls short, that's all you see when he walks in the door. Take some time when you're not feeling the love to list—yes, really write them down—the things he gets right. Reflect on what it was about him that first lit the fire for you. Odds are those traits are still there. If they're buried under a mountain of real-life conflict, bills and kids, determine to dig them out and enjoy them again.

6. Rebuffing His Attempts at Romance

When your husband wants to rekindle the fires of romance and connect with you, don't be so quick to shut him down. He may not get it just right, but you'll both be better off if you acknowledge that he's trying and build on it. Who knows? So ask yourself: am I stoking the fire or dousing it? Check out Dr. Gary Oliver's guide to fostering intimacy in marriage for some pointers.
 

"The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife."- 1 Corinthians 7:3-4

Joy of the Lord

This little girl's smile lights up my world!

I am so thankful for the blessing and honor of being a mother to each of my children... God has truly blessed me beyond measure with a husband that stands firm in HIM and helps me to lead each of our children to a legacy in Christ.  This year I am especially thankful for the strong character He has shown me in Deacon, the unconditional love He has displayed through Maddox, the pure joy He has let shine through Faith Clare, and the ability to know I'm always needed through Scout.  What an amazing journey it has been just in these few short years of motherhood... I know much more excitement is to come and I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store.  I pray that as I continue on this road that I always remember that my JOY and STRENGTH and PEACE come from Him alone.

"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him,"- Psalm 28:7