Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Happy 6 months!




Happy 6 months to my sweet baby boy Scout!

Life seems to finally be *somewhat* under control... or as much as possible with three young-ins.  We are loving the time we spend together as a family and really enjoying seeing all three of the kids interact.  Faith Clare is constantly up in Scout's face, rubbing on his cheeks, squishing them together and saying "hi baybeee".  He usually likes it and doesn't make much of a fuss when this happens... Deacon LOVES making him laugh and has recently been trying to get him to talk saying "ba, ba, ba, ba", "ma, ma, ma, ma".  It is sweet to see him feel so accomplished when Scout reacts to him and does what he says :) Scout is definitely proud of himself when he talks!

Dear baby Scout, at 6 months the joy that you have brought into our lives is immeasurable.  You are such a fun, silly, active, determined little boy.  You are an easy smile which makes everyone that sees you react in kind. You love to squeal, yell and move all around.  You took the prize (from Maddox) for being the most active child in my womb and you are holding strong and proving you know just who you are. You are a very proficient roller, going front to back and back to front with ease.  You have decided that side-sleeping is usually best, but we'll often find you flat on your tummy, tiny blue blankey within reach. You still take your soothie pacifier, but as of late it has become more of a chew toy and we are waiting for that first tooth to appear sometime soon.

If it were up to you, you would be held and carried all the time... because it gives you a pretty good vantage point for all the action and you are... well, super nosy. You still aren't sitting totally unassisted, but we think that it's because you are too much of a mover :) You definitely have the strength, but balance doesn't seem to be your thing quite yet since you are trying to grab anything in reach.  You still love the excersaucer, have really started jumping around in the jumperoo, and adore being outside, especially in the swing.

You can sleep through the night but it hasn't been consistent yet which officially makes you the latest one to reach this milestone... the one mommy is waiting for with fingers crossed! Our sweet, sacred time together ended a little over a week ago and although we have encountered a few issues with formula, I think we have it figured out. You weighed 15lbs 12oz at your appointment this week so you are right in the middle of the pack, in our family as well as nationally.  

You are a precious boy that definitely adds more spice to our family... and spice we can't imagine our lives without. We love you to infinity and beyond Scout, and we can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for your life!

"The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever- do not abandon the works of your hands."- Psalm 138:8

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Currently

 
Currently... 


My house is littered with baby paraphernalia, free weights, laundry, mail and medicine.

Scout is rolling all over the place and has now decided tummy sleeping is best.

Hubby and I have been sweating it out to P90X. Yeah baby... beach body! HA!


I am being asked at least once a day when the pools are going to open. I guess the weather has just been that good!

Doodle has started soccer and is a scoring machine!


I have a renewed sense of purpose and am thankful for my calling at home.

Kindergarten looms and I am scared and excited.

It seems like I'm never caught up- bills, mail, laundry, email, groceries, potties... and as much as I fight it, it still bothers me.

We are spending time outdoors riding bikes, going to parks, and catching up with neighbors.


I was reminded again just how precious my little blessings are and how very faithful God is by entrusting them to me.

The beard is still growing but has less than 7 days before getting totally shaved off!

I'm starting to feel like myself again... Slowly... amongst all the chaos and fun, I am able to breathe.


"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."- James 1:17

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Caught!

I've been caught red-handed and called to the carpet.  It's funny that in less than 12 hours from when I posted about change, God had a message ready for me. He found me quickly and knew that my heart wasn't right.  I don't disagree with what I wrote and I won't delete it... this is a journey.  But, He knew that at the foundation of what I was saying there was discontent.

I truly believe that my longing, my desire for something grandiose, for some sort of change, is coming from something that He put inside of me.  I love giving and helping. I'm not saying I always do it well, or with a happy heart, but at the core of who I am, I love it.  I was modeled that as a child, from many that surrounded me, but mostly from my mom.  She's a giver and a helper.

I want to give to others that have far less than I... give money or time, life and hope.  I have always had a desire to adopt so maybe that will be one form we will explore in the future. But for now, I guess I have felt like I don't have much to give.  Of myself or financially.  And that's hard when I imagine something "bigger." The problem with that is I am focusing on what might lie ahead instead of what is right in front of me. The big lives I have influence over in my home.  And I don't need big change to make a big impact on today.

Without a doubt, life is GOOD! Great in fact. And honestly, the change that is around me and is happening to my friends is something that the Lord, and He alone, is calling them to.  It definitely seems pretty from my perspective, almost like a movie for many of them.  Oh, the places you go... but for me it seems like "oh, the places they go." And yes, it feels like I've been left behind.  In the dust. But that is envy. And my friends, in many respects, would probably say unjust envy.  It's true that you never really know what is going on behind closed doors and the grass is always greener... that is where I am. Or rather, where I was just a few short hours ago.

But the Lord, oh my gracious God, got a hold of me this morning to remind me of the path that He has ME on. I am on a path that is planned just for me. One not always filled with beauty or easy, but one that He has ordained.  And to many people, my life is pretty darn good.  I won't argue with that. Blessings of health, children, restoration, healing, marriage, jobs, a home... love.

So if the root of my attitude before was discontent, one that it hurts to admit, then I needed to be reminded of what God has called me to, in my home, at this time. And He certainly hasn't called me to be discontent, because my happiness and JOY should always be found in HIM. I don't need to focus on what is going on around me... just allow Jesus to be my focus.

Are days blending and sometimes monotonous? For sure. But, as Pam Thompson so beautifully reminded me this morning, my eyes glistening with tears, He has called me, each of us, to where we are in this moment.  He has called us to "bloom where we are planted." (Jeremiah 29) He calls us to acceptance of our current circumstance, good/bad/indifferent because it is likely to soon change, to disentangle from the minutia of daily life, to walk in forgiveness (culture, people, disappointments), and ultimately to be an example... to be salt and light in this world.

Like I said before, I don't want to be the girl looking back, but I also don't want to be projecting so far forward that I miss the blessings of today. Have we walked hard roads? For sure... and undoubtedly there will be more twists and turns to come.  But my job, as a mother and wife, a friend and follower of Christ, is to be reliant on Him and grateful for these moments.  Thankful for the blessings that abound and keep my eyes on Him. Apparently our family verse has not remained in the forefront of my mind and today was a solid refresher on not allowing circumstance to dictate my happiness.  Only that can be found in the One that has been ever faithful to me and to those I love... to all those HE LOVES.

Here are a few beautiful scripture examples of how the Lord blesses abundantly... in His timing for all we need.
- Ephesians 3:20: blessings beyond what I can even imagine
- Psalm 107:28-30: He sees us in our trouble, pulls us out of our distress, and takes us to our desired haven
- 2 Corinthians 1:20: a "yes" God in all His promises
- James 1:17: every good and perfect gift comes from above
- 1 Peter 5:6: humble yourself so that He may exalt you in the proper time

Indeed He sees all and knows all.  I continue to be blown away by His sovereignty and ability to speak directly to me.  I needed to be called out.  Called away from my restlessness and called to remember that only true rest, true contentment, can come from Him... in His timing and according to His perfect plans.  Lord forgive me again for my wandering heart.  I only want to want you!

"Be joyful always, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus"- 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18  (The Stanfield Family verse)

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Change

Do you ever feel like everything around you is changing and you are the only thing that is staying the same?  Whether is be the same house, job, financial situation, or group of friends. The same problem, the same dilemma, routine, or chaos. Day in and day out it is often so hard for me to see any change in my own life. It feels like the days just blend and I often wonder what I'm doing to make an impact.  What am I do to make a change?

I'm definitely not asking for any major crisis.  As a matter of fact, so much in my world has changed since having this third child in our home, and yet I still feel like my comfortable little world filled with friends and church and playdates and parks has been shaken. My best friend moved across the world with her sweet family. Another dear friend moved even farther around the world. Several sweet couples and even some of our best friends have decided God is calling them away from our church and to serve somewhere else. It all feels so uncomfortable and to be honest... a little lonely. When you compare all the BIG change, my little change feels like nothing.

I don't want to be that girl that lives in the past.  I don't want to be constantly referring to what God did three years ago when He told us "no" for the life of our second son. I don't want to be speaking of the past but be experiencing the change of Christ daily. Now. I just want to be found faithful and always be striving to be in the middle of His will. I want to raise our children with a strong foundation of faith in Christ, with love for family and strangers all over the world, with hearts that desire to serve and are compassionate for others in need. I want missions trips and money to give. I want to save babies and promote life. I want to be called and used. I want big, and better, and fun, and faith-driven. So then... what does this all mean? Am I blind to the calling He has placed on my life at this time? Is this just a big "save the world" dream or has God really placed this in me to be called to action? 

I had some wonderful words spoken over me the other day when a friend simply advised me to ask God what He is wanting me to see through this change... or lack thereof. When everything else is shifting and I suddenly feel uncomfortable in places that used to be home, show me again Lord, as you have so many times before, what it is that you are wanting me to learn.

Being called, in any capacity, is often a struggle of epic proportion. Called to give up, called to let go, called to believe in something that seems unattainable. All calling is change... So I guess maybe my calling right now is to be firmly planted in my family, in HIM, and to not get off-course by the change raging around me.  To allow my calling at home, at this time, to be the change I am so desperately needing. It's strangely uncomfortable and lately feels lonely... but as seasons of the year change, seasons of life also have a beginning and an end. And I know I don't want to miss this one. Thankfully, there is one thing I can always count on... that the Lord Himself never changes!


"He changes times and seasons; he deposes kings and raises up others. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning."- Daniel 2:21
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