Do you ever feel like everything around you is changing and you are the only thing that is staying the same?  Whether is be the same house, job, financial situation, or group of friends. The same problem, the same dilemma, routine, or chaos. Day in and day out it is often so hard for me to see any change in my own life. It feels like the days just blend and I often wonder what I'm doing to make an impact.  What am I do to make a change?

I'm definitely not asking for any major crisis.  As a matter of fact, so much in my world has changed since having this third child in our home, and yet I still feel like my comfortable little world filled with friends and church and playdates and parks has been shaken. My best friend moved across the world with her sweet family. Another dear friend moved even farther around the world. Several sweet couples and even some of our best friends have decided God is calling them away from our church and to serve somewhere else. It all feels so uncomfortable and to be honest... a little lonely. When you compare all the BIG change, my little change feels like nothing.

I don't want to be that girl that lives in the past.  I don't want to be constantly referring to what God did three years ago when He told us "no" for the life of our second son. I don't want to be speaking of the past but be experiencing the change of Christ daily. Now. I just want to be found faithful and always be striving to be in the middle of His will. I want to raise our children with a strong foundation of faith in Christ, with love for family and strangers all over the world, with hearts that desire to serve and are compassionate for others in need. I want missions trips and money to give. I want to save babies and promote life. I want to be called and used. I want big, and better, and fun, and faith-driven. So then... what does this all mean? Am I blind to the calling He has placed on my life at this time? Is this just a big "save the world" dream or has God really placed this in me to be called to action? 

I had some wonderful words spoken over me the other day when a friend simply advised me to ask God what He is wanting me to see through this change... or lack thereof. When everything else is shifting and I suddenly feel uncomfortable in places that used to be home, show me again Lord, as you have so many times before, what it is that you are wanting me to learn.

Being called, in any capacity, is often a struggle of epic proportion. Called to give up, called to let go, called to believe in something that seems unattainable. All calling is change... So I guess maybe my calling right now is to be firmly planted in my family, in HIM, and to not get off-course by the change raging around me.  To allow my calling at home, at this time, to be the change I am so desperately needing. It's strangely uncomfortable and lately feels lonely... but as seasons of the year change, seasons of life also have a beginning and an end. And I know I don't want to miss this one. Thankfully, there is one thing I can always count on... that the Lord Himself never changes!

"He changes times and seasons; he deposes kings and raises up others. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning."- Daniel 2:21


Erin said…
Kenzie I appreciate your honesty and I enjoy reading your blog. I want to encourage you to stay faithful to our Lord as He has without a doubt called you to your husband and children. So many around us are "leaving" their children to go after something they think is bigger and more impactful but there is no worthier of a calling than being a wife and mother at home raising your children. A Prov. 31 woman is a woman who has faithfully served her family without being noticed. A lot of what we do will go unoticed by many and maybe even critized but God will reward those who faithfully serve Him. We are raising the next generation and they are looking at us to see who God is. Titus 2 tells us that we are to love our husband and children and to be busy at home. That is a mother's highest calling. It is so easy to look around and get off track but when we look to Jesus He will show us what is best.
Praying for you.

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