Not Me! Monday

So I have never actually played along with "Not Me!" Monday that is hosted by my friend MckMama, but I figured it's never too late to start... AND I did have an interesting time this past week hanging with the kiddos all by myself while Dusty was gone at Beach Retreat (High School Ministry retreat to Gulf Shores, AL). So here are all of the things that I definitely did not do these past 7 days!

I am so patient with my children and others' children as well (really I am!) that I certainly did not declare like a 2-year-old, "Hey, remember I'm in charge!" and "You don't own that!" to a few little ones this week. That is definitely not something I would do!

I am never, ever sleep-deprived so I definitely didn't in a sleepy haze put sugar instead of Miralax in Deacon's morning milk and realize it as I handed it to my wide-awake three-year-old as I glanced back at the counter and the open jar of sugar. Nope, not me!

When Deacon, Faith Clare and I all stopped at Jamba Juice after a morning at the Y, I definitely didn't laugh like a junior high boy when Deacon asked me for a snack and then proceeded to point to what he wanted. He said "what is that called?" and I responded "Pirate's Booty" to which we both feel over laughing as he continued to say "You eat Pirate booty? Ah hahahahaha!"

After said trip to Jamba Juice, I definitely didn't have it up to my ears with Faith Clare's cries and say rather loudly "Ugh, Faith Clare what are you DOING?" when my 6-month-old (who grabs everything) ripped my straw from my cup and threw it on the floor. That would totally be over the top and ridiculous to yell at a 6-month-old!

I would never, ever be so unconscious about what I looked like that I would wear a ragged t-shirt, no makeup, tennis shoes and really short booty shorts to HEB... only then to realize what I looked like and try to sag ultra-short shorts so I wouldn't look like a trash-mom at the grocery store. Not ME!

My sweet baby girl certainly wouldn't have diaper rash for 8 days (with a doctor's prescription for said rash) only to take her to Babies R Us, after declining an appointment to see the doctor, to have a store clerk tell me "Oh honey, that's no diaper rash, that's YEAST!" I would never be that silly or naive to not realize that!

With my helpful husband out of town, I would never be so exhausted and at my wits-end to say to my 3-year-old "stop acting like a child" or to my 6-month-old "ah, you're such a crybaby!" DEFINITELY, not me!

And last of all, I definitely didn't work out at the Y, go to the swimming pool, go to bed that night in my clean sheets and then again go to work out at the Y, all without taking a shower. That would be just plain gross and no one would ever think the swimming pool is kind of like a big, huge public bathtub without soap. No one!

If you want to join in the Not me! fun, just hop on over to MckMama's blog to play! Wow... definitely therapeutic!

"Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy..."- Psalm 126:2


Lyndsay said…
We eat Pirates Booty too! :) It definitely is funny to say out loud!

I totally do not know what you're talking about dealing with 2 crabby or crying babies...mine are perfect angels all. the. time! ;) I wish!
Stephanie said…
You don't know how gratifying and reassuring these "Not Me Monday" posts are to the rest of us. It makes me feel so normal!!
Oh, the humanity and honesty in your week just makes me smile! You are so funny!!
Debbie said…
LOL you crack me I know you really are human.
Katy said…
How fun that you joined the Not Me fun. I've never done it either, but love reading them!!!

Thanks for sharing the fun!!!

Cathy said…
I needed these laughs today! Thank you for my therapy.
Carla said…
Loved it! I think I need to start the Not me monday posts. It would be theraputic to purge myself of all the things I didn't do. I've actually said "grow up" to my kids before when they were ...well..acting like children. One of those ugly mommy moments. Good to know I'm not the only one who sais irrational things occasionally.

p.s love the monkey pj's . My son has the same ones!
The Smiths said…
and I would never put my kids to bed without a bath b/c they had been swimming and were clean enough....and never do it more than one day in a row! Nope, definitely not me. Thanks for the laugh.
That has to be one of the funniest ones I've ever read! LOL :)
Tanya said…
And I was thinking if I took the kids swimming every day, I wouldn't have to give them a bath all summer...ha, ha!
purejoy said…
oh, i am late seeing your not me's but i am laughing just the same!! all perfectly normal single parenty sleep deprived things to NOT do!!
KYnurse said…
Thanks for the laugh--sounds like a day in my life

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