Do you ever feel gripped by fear? Totally overcome to the the point where you can't move? Last night I was fearful as I heard noises on our back porch. I laughed a sigh of relief when my husband got home to check it out and we discovered an unusually large possum sniffing around. That is one kind of fear. Real. Legitimate. But what about the other kind, the one that you feel deep in your soul? That is very different.

Do you experience this sickening fear? The defining time in my life is when I was carrying Maddox. I didn't know what to think, where to focus my attention, or even how to pray. I was deeply entangled in fear. Have you experienced it before? Fear over losing a child? Fear of losing a much-needed job? Fear of being alone? Fear of your past? Fear of your current circumstances? Fear for your safety? Fear due to finances? There are countless fears that can grip our hearts and hold us captive. We can quickly become a slave to fear and allow it total control in our lives when something BIG doesn't happen to change it. Each of us has probably struggled with some sort of paralyzing fear. Have you thought about this fear... the one that grips so many girls that find out they are carrying a child that was unintended?

As I was reading from Isaiah this morning, I quickly discovered a trend. One that I knew was there, but I honestly forgot about. "DO NOT FEAR." God commands us to trust in Him and verse after verse He states "do not fear", "do not be afraid", "fear not". And then... do you know what is so awesome? Most often what follows those phrases are the words "for I am with you."

After receiving Maddox's diagnosis, I stumbled through a few weeks. I cried often and was really in a daze, trying to decipher my feelings and come to terms with what we were facing. A precious friend that I had just met, Yvette, told me that she would be praying that for God's peace. It seemed so simplistic but I figured that since she too was carrying a sweet boy with Trisomy 18, it wouldn't hurt to begin praying that for myself. I guess there seemed to be so many things to ask God for that peace slipped through the cracks.

Slowly, that peace began to come and the gripping, binding fear that I once felt was replaced with honest faith that He would do what was best for Maddox and our family. It was not a resigned peace that I would just "be fine" with whatever happened, but it was a peace that words cannot describe. One that surpasses all understanding because I knew without a doubt that He was with me.

Today, on Right to Life Day, I would ask that you pray for all of the girls right now that are frozen with fear because they are pregnant and don't know what to do. The God that I serve, the One that replaced my deep fear with His peace, is the same God that can transform their fears as well. If you feel led, please pray for wisdom and Truth and Life today. How beautiful to know that God can speak directly into your life, telling us to trust HIM. He has done it in mine too saying, "So do not fear Kenzie, for I am with you."

Allow that fear to fall off you today as you seek His face and pray for that peace, for yourself and for others, that can only come from Him.

"The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid?"- Psalm 27:1


Laurie in Ca. said…
Thank you Kenzie. I needed to hear this today. I have had the kind of fear you speak of many times in my life. Can't breathe at times. Why do I always forget He is with me? Trust has always been a big issue in my life and I know that it can knock out the gripping fear. He is faithful. Love you to pieces Kenzie. And Maddox is always in my heart:)

Love and Hugs, Laurie
chadandnikki said…
Life is beautiful. Even on the darkest and most fearful days.
Emily said…
Thank you for the much needed reminder.

I'm remembering a particularly beautiful LIFE today. Praying for your sweet family as you celebrate sweet Maddox on his 2nd birthday!
Jen said…
Happy Birthday Maddox!
Praying for your family as they remember...
Kathy said…
Happy Birthday to your sweet, cherished boy!

Great post, Kenzie.

I take great encouragement in the fact that so often God says "...take courage!" Because I only get it from Him.
sanjeet said…
Even on the darkest and most fearful day

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