Just One Look

I'd like to say that this day, this 26th of September, doesn't affect me... I'm not there yet. In some ways I would love to stand proudly and say that it doesn't even draw my attention, but only two years out from that life-changing day, I'm still not there. In many ways, I wonder if I will ever be. There seem to be infrequent days that bring me tears, but without a doubt this day and that precious one in January are the two that seem so difficult. In January we physically lost Maddox, but this September day 2007 we confronted a reality we never imagined possible and lost so many dreams we had for our family.

I could have never imagined just two years ago the way we would be changed- how the Lord would truly "break me and pour me out", how I would lose so much but gain infinitely more only in the power and strength of Him. Today is a hard day, but I can't even imagine it without the cross and that beautiful promise of everlasting life.

Below is an article I wrote for Katy Magazine a few months back to be published in their fall issue. It was amazing to be able to write our story and allow others in the community a glimpse into our life, a life of Trisomy 18 and one of hope, joy, and faith, and I thought today would be a perfect day to share it.

(If you visit Katy Magazine, click on Current Issue and go to the bottom where the story is listed- Just One Look.)

I'll leave you with these few amazing lines of In Christ Alone. I heard them this morning and while they always fill me with tremendous joy, they also bring me to tears each time I hear them...

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

"Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. We live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad."- 2 Corinthians 5:6-10

**Please pray this morning and the following days for the Anderson Family. This morning is baby Rhyder's Celebration Service and I will be attending. He lived a miraculous 25 days and then went to be with the Lord. His family is confident in his eternity but are desperately missing him.


chadandnikki said…
This is fantastic. Thank you for sharing this article. You made me weep and smile all at once. Thank you.
The Nichols Fam said…
Praying in faith for the Stanfields and the Andersons.
Thinking of you today and sweet Maddox. I hope you got my message yesterday, I am sorry I missed your call. I miss you very much. I read the article, you did a wonderful job as usual sharing Maddox's story. It's a beautiful one. You new family photo is precious! I gotta see you soon.
I will be praying for sweet Rhyder's family. I am glad you are there for them.
Love you sweet precious friend
Devin said…

What a beautiful, well-written article. You have touched so many families, my friend, including my own...I just love you dearly and thank God for you and your Christ-like example everyday.

By the way...I love that picture of you and Faith! How cute. The look on her face is so precious!
Emily said…
Thinking of you today, sweet sister. I'm still in awe of the way the Lord uses our precious babies' lives to make much of His name. Your honor your son and your Father so beautifully.

Love you!
Corie said…
I thought I of you all day yesterday. I know how hard these days are! Would love to meet some day! :) Praying for a peaceful Fall.
Jess said…
Wow! Kenz, what an incredible way to share Maddox's story and part of your testimony! It definitely brought tears to my eyes thinking of our sweet nephew. He is loved so much! Love, Jess
Kathy said…
Great article Kenzie! So very well written (and LIVED)!!! Your precious Maddox continues to make a difference in this world.

The pictures accompanying the article were beautiful.

Sorry this is a difficult time. Prayers continue.
Pam said…
I have given you an award!!!!! Come and see.....
Doula Mama Pam
Anne (Ford) Johnson said…
I thought you'd like to know about a DECA project happening at the HS where I teach. A group of students has chosen Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep photography as the recipient of their DECA project fundraising monies. I first heard about this organization when Maddox was born and thought it was such an amazing service. I know how grateful you are for this organization and I wanted you to know that others will benefit from it as well because of some thoughtful HS students. I hope you and your family are well. Take care.

heather said…
I haven't checked in with you in a while, but do know I am thinking of you always. You are an incredible woman of faith and an inspiration to me as I weave through my own journey of loss.
Molly said…
I happened upon your article in the Sugar Land magazine edition. God gave me the time to flip through it while I was waiting for my husband in his LASIK surgery. It was such a blessing to see your sweet family and read your words in those moments of quiet.

The Lord spoke encouragement to me through your words. Specifically, when HE leads you to pray, HE will follow through.

Thank you!

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