Weekend Update

It has been a ridiculously long time since I have posted... I guess it's time for a weekend update!

Faith Clare is now 16 weeks old and her personality is shining through! Her GI system seems to be much improved since we started probiotics 2+ weeks ago. (Thank you, thank you, thank you to those of you suggesting them for her!!) The difference that we have seen in her is amazing and in conjunction with me cutting out milk and all the prayers on her behalf, she is almost back to who she was the first 11 weeks of life :) Incidentally, we did have the Pedi GI appointment in the Med Center and although we didn't find out much, both the fellow and the physician strongly recommended probiotics based on numerous European studies... just in case you have a little someone in need of GI assistance.

Our little missy is still a really smiley girl who loves to watch her brother laughing and playing! She already knows just what she wants and she definitely communicates that with us, sometimes through "talking" but mostly through her screams of protest when we get it wrong! Truly, she seems to be much more demanding than Deacon ever was so she is already challenging us on so many levels. She absolutely insists on being held and carried but she isn't a "cuddly" baby at all. She despises being held like a baby (across you) even if she is really tired and doesn't like being where she can't see whatever "action" is going on around her. Oh my, and talk about despise~ the carseat is her ultimate disdain right now and she tends to cry after being in it for, ooohh, say 2 minutes. Plain and simple, it is just the biggest hate in her life. However, when she is happy and feeling good, man is she a treat! She loves playing on the floor, kicking her legs, grabbing hands and putting them in her mouth, and reading books. Her happiest time is in the morning after just waking up where she will "ooh" and "ahh" and tell you all about her night. Interestingly, she can go from happy and lovely to screaming and mad in 5 seconds which is why we have started calling her our "sweet and sour" girl. Many of you lucky ones have already witnessed this first hand!

Deacon is doing great and loves being a big brother. He is super helpful most of the time and often says "I can get that for you mommy" when I am needing additional hands. He always asks "Where is Faith Clare?" and then will head right to where she is to talk to her, usually saying "Hi Faith Clare, what are you doing??" He is an active boy, doing great in preschool and really learning a lot from all of his interactions with the other kids and teachers. He is pretty outgoing with those he feels comfortable with and is working really hard on his numbers and letters which makes mommy proud. Undoubtedly we have many 3-year-old moments that require redirection, discussion and consequences, but I wouldn't have it any other way... often they are the "teachable moments" that bring us back to the Bible and what Jesus has instructed for our lives.

And Maddox... well, I know that he is just perfect and filled with joy in the presence of the Lord. The weeks leading up to his birthday, back in the beginning of January, were difficult and like many say, the anticipation of the day was actually much worse than the day itself. As we debated what to do, a dear friend of mine who also lost a son gave me some very wise advice: break my day into thirds. She suggested spending some time alone to reflect on this journey with Maddox and his life, to spend time together as a family, and then spend some time with just Dusty. We heeded her advice and the celebration we had for Maddox was absolutely perfect.

Deacon spent the morning at school so I, in turn, spent a little time with Dusty and a lot with Faith Clare. Probably my most intimate moment of the day was holding Faith Clare and listening to By Your Side by Tenth Avenue North. I was so drawn in to the words of that song and as I sat there on the couch holding my newborn daughter, a clear promise from the Lord, I was just sobbing over her big brother. My tears were heavy and falling freely, streaming down my face and inadvertently landing on the sweet girl in my lap. Honestly, I could barely see through them and as they literally bathed her head, the only thing that I could see was her beautiful smile. A smile that lit up her entire face and made her eyes dance. Oh, what a beautiful memory ...A moment from the Lord... Him speaking clearly to me through the new life He had just blessed us with. His presence was clear and it is a time that will remain forever etched in my memory.

The rest of the day was wonderful as well. As I spent my alone time at the spa, relishing in my gifted massage and pedicure, I spent a lot of time thanking the Lord and thinking about all that He has carried us through. When I returned home we spent a few hours together as a family of four, enjoying the beautiful flowers, cards and sweet gift of cookies received from family and friends. We talked some about Maddox and told Deacon that Maddox was probably enjoying a huge birthday party in Heaven. He stopped, looked at Dusty and said, "When I get to Heaven, can Jesus share some of his birthday cake with me?" He brightened our day with those sweet words and we said we were SURE Jesus would share his cake and so much more once he got to Heaven.

The evening was fantastic as well. My grandparents arrived in town and spent the evening with the kids while Dusty and I celebrated our sweet boy's birthday with an amazing meal and wonderful conversation at The Melting Pot. It was a beautiful way to end the day and quite honestly, I was amazed again at how faithful the Lord was to answer our prayers for a peaceful, God-honoring day.

Overall, right now life is great. It is definitely more chaotic than I remember. I am definitely less patient than before. Two kids definitely feel like 15 some days. I definitely have less time to check things off my TO-DO list. I am definitely more tired than ever. The house is definitely less clean and the kids are definitely more dirty. There is definitely more noise than there has ever been... But there is definitely more laughter, more silliness, more togetherness, and more seeking the Lord in all things. And I am definitely feeling more BLESSED. The Lord is so good and I have been constantly reminded lately that this is a stage, and soon we will be out of it and on to the next thing. I am striving so hard to remember daily to enjoy this... because these moments are fleeting. Praise God for the JOY of living in TODAY.

"This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."- Psalm 118:24


Thank you for your post on life, love and the passing of your sweet Maddox. I feel like we have lived a very similar path in the past year + and am always so humbled to read your posts... your faith is so strong and it shows me a path that I want to take.

You are an amazing person, mom and wife and I hope someday to live life as full as you do.

Laurie in Ca. said…
Oh Kenzie,

I just love this post and I love you so much for your sweet honesty. This is what life is all about:) Many fleeting moments to be savored. A beautiful mixture of chaos and treasures. Motherhood. This was my same story many years ago when the boys were young. It is every young mothers story that draws us all together as sisters. Your day of celebration for Maddox sounds perfect and guided by the Lord. I am so thankful for this. I think of him all the time when I think of you all. He is forever in my heart as you are. I love you girl and am so thankful Maddox brought you to be my forever friend. Have a blessed week in chaos and bliss:)

Love and Hugs, Laurie
What a wonderful update!! :)
mrsrubly said…
o kenzie~love the post! what a special way to remember sweet Maddox! i have been thinking about you and your fam alot lately! i can't believe how Faith and Deacon look so much alike! well Maddox too! they all resemble so much of each other. isn't being a mother awesome! just love the moments when you walk by 2 laundry baskets full of clean clothes, dishes piled in the sink from breakfast, and you haven't had a shower and still in PJ's from the night before! just remember my sweet friend...this to shall pass. this to shall pass!
Anonymous said…
I know where you're coming from to have a more "demanding" child than what you are used to. I am adjusting to that as well and was glad to see you write about patience being less- good to know I'm not alone.
Thank you so much for sharing. I always learn so much from you.
kari j said…
Loved that update :) and Oh, My, Goodness is that Faith every so beautiful! my fave is the picture where she has the BIGGEST smile and it even shows little dimples! she's precious.
You are SO right, as busy moms it's so important for us to cherish every single busy (and sometimes overwhelming) moment because we'll be into the next stage before we know it! :(
What a beautiful and blessed family you have Kenzie!
Devin said…

I am so glad that Maddox's day went well for you. I was thinking of you that day and praying for you...it's good to hear a great report of that day. And that you have wonderful memories of it!

I totally relate to the business/craziness...but isn't it totally worth it?

Love you girl. I'll talk to you soon :-)
Rachel said…
What a wonderful post and all the pictures are just beautiful.

I am so glad that Maddox's birthday day went so smoothly and that you have peace in knowing how safe he is in the arms of our Great God.

As for little miss and her outbursts (thats what I call them). I had 3 boys before having Melana (now 19mo old) and boy let me tell you how dramatic girls are. I see that you are seeing that first hand. They definately have a voice and show it well ?huh?
She is absolutely precious and in time will get over the crying phase. Melana is still a drama queen, but not as much and not as bad or as loud.
Good luck and remember we are all thinking of you and praying for you!

PS...I just saw Maddox's video on the right hand side of your blog and it is just perfect! Absolutely Perfect!

Rachel (Lees Summit, MO)
Anonymous said…
You mentioned that Faith Claire does not like her car seat. Have you checked her ears? After 9 mo of screaming while in her car seat we had our baby's ears checked. She needed tubes to relieve the preasure and has been perfectly fine now for 2 years.
Just a thought! God Bless You and your family.
Cathy said…
Oh Kenzie, you have such a beautiful family! I am glad there is some improvement in Faith Clare. I can't remember if early on I tried probiotics but I think I will try it again. I may never have!! Thank you for the update and letting us know how each one is doing.
Love the new pics Kenzie. Sure wishin I was on my way to see you and hold that precious girl! Miss and love you.
Kirsten said…
Oh Kenzie,

It is so wonderful to read the pure joy in your posts. They are beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing about Maddox's special day - I think we'll try to do something similar on Chloe's 1 year anniversary in Heaven.

It is such a blessing to know that your family is doing so well. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

Kathy said…
Great post, Kenzie! The pictures are so beautiful and the love and joy just radiates from you all!

Also love the "new look" of your blog. It's so fun!

I think you hit the nail on the head when you say you (we!) need to enjoy the moment! Life's lesson. These moments pass quickly - all too quickly. If we blink they pass, but if we live them we have memories to last a lifetime. You are making beautiful memories each and every day.

The image of your tears for the loss of your amazing son falling sweetly on your smiling, beautiful daughter was very moving. You are a wonderful, loving Mom. Your three children are blessed to call you their mother.

Prayers continue for your sweet family.
Inkling said…
My baby has improved somewhat on the probiotic I mix with my milk, and is also on meds for his GERD. But I just got the probiotic at the health food store and wonder if there is a stronger one that is prescribed or something. What kind do you use and how do you get it?
Kenzie said…
We too are just using the ones from a health-food store, but I recently talked to a friend who has a child on prescription probiotics, so I guess they do have a "stronger" version or maybe something a little different than the over-the-counter ones. Our specific kind is Baby Jarro-Dophilus. Hopefully your doctor will be able to help you out :)

Kenzie that was a beautiful post.

Have you tried carrying Faith in a carrier yet - I LOVE LOVE LOVE my babyhawk.com carrier and so do all of our children - even the fussiest of the bunch - Naomi! She is like Faith and can go from full smiles to mad in 5 seconds flat. She is demanding and learning we don't listen to her demands. She is 16 months now and trying out her lungs in a new and louder way...oh this girl has a temper. Her and Noah who are only 10 months apart are so alike it scares us because she has gone through every single icky stage of his at the same age. We know what is still ahead of us - praying the Lord makes their crooked road straight for us soon :) LOL!

You all look so beautiful! You really look great! Praising God for how good Deacon is with Faith. What a blessing on so many levels.

Know that I think of you often and cover you in my prayers.

Blessings and all God's love,
Miss you girl friend. Thinking of you every day!
Love you,

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