A Life is a Life, No Matter How Small
“A life is a life, no matter how small.” Suddenly today, as I was thinking about it being the 23rd and about us getting ready to experience the joy of a new life in our home, this little saying from Dr. Seuss’s Horton Hears A Who came to mind. Yes indeed, a life IS a life no matter how small.
As I have mentioned before, this little life growing inside of me right now is small, but not near as small as she was 7 weeks ago when I was admitted to the hospital in pre-term labor. She is small now… but she certainly has life and can sustain life, and she reminds me of that constantly throughout the day with all her kicks, pokes and somersaults. I continue to pray daily, sometimes hourly, for this precious daughter of mine, just as I have done with both of my boys. I pray for her health, her safety, and for her to enter this world whole and full of life.
I returned to the doctor again yesterday, a day earlier than my scheduled appointment, due to some “issues”. I was again put on the monitors for a non-stress test in the office and was checked out to ensure that Faith Clare was doing well. Thankfully she is doing great. But honestly, I was frustrated… and when my doctor said that my uterus was “irritable” that word seemed to fit my mood perfectly. I was annoyed that I was having more issues- again. I was annoyed that I wasn’t feeling great. I was just annoyed at the day and it was only 10:30- good start huh?
Sometimes I guess we can all let our minds wander and mine went yesterday to a place it hasn’t been in some time. I started thinking… what is the deal? I am not one of those mothers. Why all these “issues”? I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I listen to my doctor when she says bedrest, I take my prenatals, my procardia, my folic acid, my fish oil pills, my calcium, I cut out almost all caffeine (chick-fil-A sweet tea and some chocolate here and there can do my MIND some good!)… and yet, here I am constantly thinking about the health and safety of my baby. Whatever!?
Thankfully, after hearing that I’ll be off bedrest officially at 36 weeks and will be getting off the procardia in a week and a half, I left the office in a better mood. However, some of those questions… some of those thoughts stayed with me. How come some people do everything right and still loose babies? And then some people appear to do everything wrong and still end up having healthy babies, despite the addictive lifestyles they lead while carrying a child inside? Why is it that some of my friends can’t get pregnant at all when they only long to be able to carry a child of their own?
These questions, as many of you know, could go on and on and on. And yet, the only thing that I could come up with yesterday, the only answer that gives me comfort and peace and reassurance, is that NO ONE does everything right. We are all products of the fall and all have sinned… we have ALL fallen short of the glory of God. All of us but Jesus that is. And it was Jesus that said to come to Him like little children. Like our own little children… I suppose like my little Deacon, who says long before the 20-week “medical cutoff” for the definition of a “miscarriage”- “Look mama, she has a baby in her tummy?” Yep. Like him… with trust and innocence like that sweet child that Jesus has entrusted me with.
Okay… so back to this saying. This silly little saying in a movie, “a life is a life no matter how small,” has been quoted often and apparently done so to the dislike of Dr. Seuss himself who said it didn’t reflect his personal stance on any particular ideals and didn’t want it used by pro-life proponents. That's fine, maybe to him it doesn’t mean anything, but to me it speaks volumes. That statement alone encompasses almost every moment of this past year of my life, and will always reflect my views from now on. That statement, although not taken from the Bible, is biblical and is the sole reason we had enough faith to continue our pregnancy with Maddox when all of the cards were stacked against us.
So what does this have to do with today, with this 23rd day of October? Today is a day of truth and forgiveness as I long to honor the life of my son on his 9-month birthday. Today’s struggle for truth is to stand firmly for what I believe because I trust in a God that is faithful to us and to His Word- His Word that speaks so clearly.
What?? you are wondering… More clearly please? Okay… here it is.
For me, for my family, it comes down to this… I currently feel a very heavy burden for this upcoming presidential election. I have gone back and forth, struggling as to what I can post for fear of upsetting anyone… about clearly stating my position. But after yesterday… after the frustration and all the questions running through my mind, there was no doubt left that I needed to be clear. So the truth? Truth is that a life IS a life, no matter how small. I know that. As my friend Angie stated in her blog, it is a clear and absolute truth. And do I feel that one ticket supports that position and one does not? Absolutely. Now, as Angie mentioned, I also am not a “one issue” girl; however, THIS issue to me is the issue that directs our nation. As you probably have figured out, I support life. I support each child’s right to life and for God’s right to determine how long that life will be here on earth… not our right to decide, but His. I have been shaped by personal experience and without a doubt it has changed who I am.
So what is the “forgiveness” part then you wonder? The forgiveness I mentioned when I said today is a day of truth and forgiveness? The forgiveness for me is for so many years of not knowing exactly where I stood on all of this… not until I myself was faced with the reality of it. The forgiveness for me in the fact that although I was a Christian, somehow my little mind missed the HUGE portions in the Bible that clearly stated how the Lord values life, at all ages and gestations, and it is HIS sole right to take that life away. Maybe it was just convenient to not have an opinion or somehow be able to "see both sides."
What about this? Maybe some of us have defended a woman’s “right to choose” or have sat rather unresponsive when another asked us our opinion of this critical life-or-death issue. Maybe we didn’t know. Maybe we didn’t have an answer. Maybe we just didn’t want to be criticized or judged. Or, maybe some have been faced with that terrible decision, and for whatever reason and whatever the circumstances, made a choice that once decided, could never be taken back. Many of us have repented and have asked for forgiveness for what has been laid on our hearts regarding this issue… many still might need to do so. But regardless of where you are in the process, I want to assure you that once you have given it over to the Lord, it is done. We are forgiven. As Angie Smith just posted, it’s called restoration... being "ransomed." I rest in the truth of that restoration… and in the fact that the Lord gave us, our family, the opportunity to outwardly demonstrate that we trusted Him above all else… As a result, we saw the precious face of our tiny Maddox and it was all worth it. His life was a life… it was small, it was short, but above all, it deserved to be protected.
As those of you who know me know, I am not much of a “political” girl. However, on this day, as I think of my precious boy’s life and also about the direction of this country, I have felt compelled to share my clear stance on one significant issue that absolutely pierces my heart. To be clear… I am pro-life and I am pro-choice… God’s choice for our lives and what that entails. I am pro-prayer. I am pro-creationism… and pro-science… science that can clearly prove micro-evolution but has yet to be able to prove macro-evolution. I am pro-freedom. I am pro-military. I am also pro-McCain and pro-Palin. But, as I stated, I am also pro-prayer… meaning that I will continue praying for God’s will in our country, for His will in this election, and ultimately for whoever gets voted into the highest office in this land. I will pray for them to be responsible. I will pray for their discernment and wisdom and leadership. This country needs so much prayer as we face what appears to me to be an uncertain moral future. Will you please join me in praying for this country? Will you please join me in praying for all of the little lives across this country… born or unborn… no matter how small?
Happy 9 months Maddox! I know you are so happy in your Father's hands!
"If my people, which are called by my name shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land."- 2 Chronicles 7:14
As I have mentioned before, this little life growing inside of me right now is small, but not near as small as she was 7 weeks ago when I was admitted to the hospital in pre-term labor. She is small now… but she certainly has life and can sustain life, and she reminds me of that constantly throughout the day with all her kicks, pokes and somersaults. I continue to pray daily, sometimes hourly, for this precious daughter of mine, just as I have done with both of my boys. I pray for her health, her safety, and for her to enter this world whole and full of life.
I returned to the doctor again yesterday, a day earlier than my scheduled appointment, due to some “issues”. I was again put on the monitors for a non-stress test in the office and was checked out to ensure that Faith Clare was doing well. Thankfully she is doing great. But honestly, I was frustrated… and when my doctor said that my uterus was “irritable” that word seemed to fit my mood perfectly. I was annoyed that I was having more issues- again. I was annoyed that I wasn’t feeling great. I was just annoyed at the day and it was only 10:30- good start huh?
Sometimes I guess we can all let our minds wander and mine went yesterday to a place it hasn’t been in some time. I started thinking… what is the deal? I am not one of those mothers. Why all these “issues”? I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I listen to my doctor when she says bedrest, I take my prenatals, my procardia, my folic acid, my fish oil pills, my calcium, I cut out almost all caffeine (chick-fil-A sweet tea and some chocolate here and there can do my MIND some good!)… and yet, here I am constantly thinking about the health and safety of my baby. Whatever!?
Thankfully, after hearing that I’ll be off bedrest officially at 36 weeks and will be getting off the procardia in a week and a half, I left the office in a better mood. However, some of those questions… some of those thoughts stayed with me. How come some people do everything right and still loose babies? And then some people appear to do everything wrong and still end up having healthy babies, despite the addictive lifestyles they lead while carrying a child inside? Why is it that some of my friends can’t get pregnant at all when they only long to be able to carry a child of their own?
These questions, as many of you know, could go on and on and on. And yet, the only thing that I could come up with yesterday, the only answer that gives me comfort and peace and reassurance, is that NO ONE does everything right. We are all products of the fall and all have sinned… we have ALL fallen short of the glory of God. All of us but Jesus that is. And it was Jesus that said to come to Him like little children. Like our own little children… I suppose like my little Deacon, who says long before the 20-week “medical cutoff” for the definition of a “miscarriage”- “Look mama, she has a baby in her tummy?” Yep. Like him… with trust and innocence like that sweet child that Jesus has entrusted me with.
Okay… so back to this saying. This silly little saying in a movie, “a life is a life no matter how small,” has been quoted often and apparently done so to the dislike of Dr. Seuss himself who said it didn’t reflect his personal stance on any particular ideals and didn’t want it used by pro-life proponents. That's fine, maybe to him it doesn’t mean anything, but to me it speaks volumes. That statement alone encompasses almost every moment of this past year of my life, and will always reflect my views from now on. That statement, although not taken from the Bible, is biblical and is the sole reason we had enough faith to continue our pregnancy with Maddox when all of the cards were stacked against us.
So what does this have to do with today, with this 23rd day of October? Today is a day of truth and forgiveness as I long to honor the life of my son on his 9-month birthday. Today’s struggle for truth is to stand firmly for what I believe because I trust in a God that is faithful to us and to His Word- His Word that speaks so clearly.
What?? you are wondering… More clearly please? Okay… here it is.
For me, for my family, it comes down to this… I currently feel a very heavy burden for this upcoming presidential election. I have gone back and forth, struggling as to what I can post for fear of upsetting anyone… about clearly stating my position. But after yesterday… after the frustration and all the questions running through my mind, there was no doubt left that I needed to be clear. So the truth? Truth is that a life IS a life, no matter how small. I know that. As my friend Angie stated in her blog, it is a clear and absolute truth. And do I feel that one ticket supports that position and one does not? Absolutely. Now, as Angie mentioned, I also am not a “one issue” girl; however, THIS issue to me is the issue that directs our nation. As you probably have figured out, I support life. I support each child’s right to life and for God’s right to determine how long that life will be here on earth… not our right to decide, but His. I have been shaped by personal experience and without a doubt it has changed who I am.
So what is the “forgiveness” part then you wonder? The forgiveness I mentioned when I said today is a day of truth and forgiveness? The forgiveness for me is for so many years of not knowing exactly where I stood on all of this… not until I myself was faced with the reality of it. The forgiveness for me in the fact that although I was a Christian, somehow my little mind missed the HUGE portions in the Bible that clearly stated how the Lord values life, at all ages and gestations, and it is HIS sole right to take that life away. Maybe it was just convenient to not have an opinion or somehow be able to "see both sides."
What about this? Maybe some of us have defended a woman’s “right to choose” or have sat rather unresponsive when another asked us our opinion of this critical life-or-death issue. Maybe we didn’t know. Maybe we didn’t have an answer. Maybe we just didn’t want to be criticized or judged. Or, maybe some have been faced with that terrible decision, and for whatever reason and whatever the circumstances, made a choice that once decided, could never be taken back. Many of us have repented and have asked for forgiveness for what has been laid on our hearts regarding this issue… many still might need to do so. But regardless of where you are in the process, I want to assure you that once you have given it over to the Lord, it is done. We are forgiven. As Angie Smith just posted, it’s called restoration... being "ransomed." I rest in the truth of that restoration… and in the fact that the Lord gave us, our family, the opportunity to outwardly demonstrate that we trusted Him above all else… As a result, we saw the precious face of our tiny Maddox and it was all worth it. His life was a life… it was small, it was short, but above all, it deserved to be protected.
As those of you who know me know, I am not much of a “political” girl. However, on this day, as I think of my precious boy’s life and also about the direction of this country, I have felt compelled to share my clear stance on one significant issue that absolutely pierces my heart. To be clear… I am pro-life and I am pro-choice… God’s choice for our lives and what that entails. I am pro-prayer. I am pro-creationism… and pro-science… science that can clearly prove micro-evolution but has yet to be able to prove macro-evolution. I am pro-freedom. I am pro-military. I am also pro-McCain and pro-Palin. But, as I stated, I am also pro-prayer… meaning that I will continue praying for God’s will in our country, for His will in this election, and ultimately for whoever gets voted into the highest office in this land. I will pray for them to be responsible. I will pray for their discernment and wisdom and leadership. This country needs so much prayer as we face what appears to me to be an uncertain moral future. Will you please join me in praying for this country? Will you please join me in praying for all of the little lives across this country… born or unborn… no matter how small?
Happy 9 months Maddox! I know you are so happy in your Father's hands!
"If my people, which are called by my name shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land."- 2 Chronicles 7:14
Comments
Kelly
I read your blog and hope from the depths of my being that your new life in Faith Claire will be typical and healthy.
Thank you again for sharing your journey. Though you are learning as you walk through it, you are allowing me to learn, too.
Love, Laurie in Ca.
This is a well-written post and I am right there with you! I love what you said about being pro-choice...allowing God who is Sovereign to decide how long a life should last. I, too, am concerned about the moral future of our country and will join you in praying for our leaders.
Mandi
God Bless You...
I am a mother who has lost our 3 children all in the middle of my pregnancies (23w,17w,21w). They were all "healthy" but apparently my body just cannot hold them in. I stayed on bed rest for a very long time and still nothing worked to stop me from delivering.
I know your heart is missing Maddox on his 9 month b.day. I still think of our babies every time we pass a "significant date" and it has been almost 2 years since our last daughter was born.
It is also hard for me to see mothers that mistreat their children while carrying them or even after they have them. (We are foster/adopt parents now) So we see a lot that makes us question "why can they have healthy pregnancies/babies and not me?" "I am saved and I walk according to the BIBLE (most days with God's helping hand (over my mouth)Ü)and still I get to sit by and watch everyone else 'who could care less they are having children' be blessed in my eyes."
I am trying to have a better attitude toward even those people. We are after all getting to parent these children that are not taken care of or "unloved".
My heart definitely fears the political campaigns that are going on right now. THAT "MAN" HAS GOT TO BE STOPPED. It is very frightening that so many people are blinded by the charm, and sweet talking. I cannot stand that there are so many for the murder of unborn/partial born babies. It is indeed a life no matter how small!
Blessings,
bri, TX
First, I LOVED the picture of Maddox in his Earthly father's hands next to "I know you are so happy in your Father's hands."
And second, you have said what has weighed heavily on my heart these past few weeks. I couldn't come up with words like this to say it, but it has to be said, and it isn't denying that God can use anyone, OR that some people don't have their positive points .. but a stance on the value of life, ANY life, is all that matters to me right now.
Each of the babies I've met through your "group" have provided a very clear picture of the beauty and value that exists in just one life.
Thank you for saying what I don't nearly have the words to express.
love, connie
I'm praying for you.
Keep posting.
Joanna
Blessings to you!
Jenn
Praying for you and baby Faith.
Happy 9 Month Birthday to Maddox and Happy 16 Month Birthday to Miller Grace. :)
We praise you, Lord!
By justice a ruler builds up the land,
but he who exacts taxes heavily tears it down.
Proverbs 29:4
She goes on to explain it. But how clear.
Still praying for you and your family.
Our nations needs a moral outcry now!
Hang in there and I know God will continue to let Faith grow stronger each day until she makes her grand apperance!
I'm talking to my screen, "Preach it Sister!" Truly. A life is a life no matter how small, and that belief, and more importantly the exercise of that belief (or lack thereof) has a PROFOUND effect on the direction of our nation, and our world. We must pray diligently, vote as God calls us personally to vote, trust Him for the outcome even if it doesn't look like what we expect it to look like, which is true in all things.
And even those things that seem backwards and unfair. I learned relatively early in my infertility struggle to let go of the Whys. The answer can be found in Matthew 5:44-46 (NIV) "But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?"
What this says to me is that good things (sun) and bad things (rain) happen to everyone on earth because, well, that's how God set it up. The truth is that none of us deserves God's blessing, He gives it based on HIS mercy, grace and love for us, and He offers those things to everyone. Asking all those whys only leads us to judge others, and become bitter, even toward God, and it robs us of our ability to truly LOVE people, especially our enemies whom Christ called us to love.
Stepping off my soapbox now>>
I hope that on this anniversary of Maddox's birthday that you are granted more of God's peace and comfort than your heart can hold. I have so enjoyed reading your blog these last few months.
I continue to pray for baby Faith.
One thing that comes to mind is that years ago, I was a part of a non-denominational church. There was one talk that the pastor gave that has really stuck with me...your actions, choices, thoughts ect are governed by your fundamental belief system. How can we hold someone without that belief system to the same "code"? They do not function with the same paradigm's, so they do not come up with the same results.
Secondly, I do happen to be against abortion as a choice for me... but I cannot make that choice for someone else. I feel that people who truly believe that women should not have an abortion should "put their money where their mouth is". By that I mean do not march, spend money on anti-abortion campaigns. But rather spend your resources on helping the women whom you want to make the "right" choice. Help them go back to school, work, learn good parenting, give them a home to live in if needed, so that they can give their children the lives that they so richly deserve.
I have spent many years providing home health services to people in the inner city, with lives that some of us cannot begin to comprehend. It has often crossed my mind, that as the Lord does know our days before we are born, perhaps He knows that a certain child's life is better returned to Him, rather than the horrible life it would be subjected to here on earth. (Not that He chooses that, but as He created us all, believer or not, He still loves those who have made a different choose than another would make.)
This is from someone who has never been able to have a child, and has taken care of the severely premature, or sometimes brain damaged children of births that the mother did not want to occur, of the mother addicted to drugs and so on.
I love these children, they do not have to be perfect to be loved, but a small sad portion of them never experience pleasure in life, just pain, or lack of pain.
Thank you for your post.
I love you, girl!!! You are so awesome! You have such a beautiful and sensitive heart. What a blessing you are to so many - your example and boldness is good for all of us. I stand in agreement with everything you posted.
We are praying for Faith Clare daily. It has been a long pregnancy for you (which of course is great, but also hard). Faith is clearly a fighter, like her mama, and she is a witness to God's faithfulness already. He is with you each step of the way - for the entire journey.
Prayers, love, hugs and smiles to you and your precious family.
Blessings,
Kirsten
Emily in Mississippi
I am not a "political" girl either and kind of wanted to avoid the whole thing but my frustrations had to be let out :) I am Canadian but am married to an American and follow closely the election. I'm getting really sick of all the character assasination, slander, lies etc. especially related to Governer Palin. And this is mostly from Canadians!...who aren't even involved. It makes me sick. They take an intellegent, well spoken, educated, strong woman with great moral values and make her into a back woods, hillbilly with the IQ of 80 and a secret "scary" agenda. Its ridiculous. I might not vote for a candidate based on issues and my disagreement of where they stand on them (or failure to stand for much of anything)....but that doesn't give me the right (especially as a Christian) to revel in slander, malice , gossip and untruth. What ever happened to respect. I wouldn't vote for Obama based on the issues but I respect him as an intellegent, well spoken , well intentioned man who desires to serve his country.
I realized recently though when we stand for righteousness and strive to serve God as well as our counry...we will face persecution, its inevitable.
That is also how I feel and, like you, have come to many of those revelations over the past few years although feeling like I was a Christian for longer.
God wants us to search His word and choose a candidate based on that!
AMEN!
Thanks for encouraging so many through your blog, Kenzie. You're awesome.
love,
kari
I do find it fascinating that those who profess to be liberal and for "rights" are the same who use such horrible slander against a woman who simply has differing views. Whatever happened to "agree to disagree"?
What about the rights of the unborn? Do only the women count because they are voters? As for the horrendous late term abortion that Mr. Obama protected, as an OB nurse and having spoken to many, many OB doctors NO ONE thinks that that procedure would ever save a mother's life.
I highly recommend reading the books (not audio, they have been changed) of Mr. Obama. On the outside he seems to be the whole package:
good looks - check
eloquent - check
charistmatic - check
He is beloved of the media for sure but when you delve into who he really is and what his values are... Of course, only God can look upon the heart but we are to be educated when we vote.
I was horrified to read that little Trig Palin is "rare". 80 - 90% of Down's syndrome babies are never allowed to be born. God forgive us all.
Thank you for your thoughtfulness, honesty and your commmitment to all precious life. Praying for you and for sweet little Faith.
Praying also for our country.
I, like you, dear Kenzie, have always had a hard time attempting to understand the "whys" of life and so appreciate that it's not really expected of me. I, like you, choose to allow God to be in control. Maybe when we are in heaven we learn the big picture. In the meantime, we pray for that peace that passes all understanding. May we all rest in it.
God bless you and hold you tightly in the palm of His hand,
Kathy
I believe that prayer is our biggest weapon to uphold the values this country was based on.