"Well done, good and faithful servant."

Overall, this weekend has been a good one. Due to the New Year holidays it seemed short and I was able to spend lots of quality time with my family. We enjoyed our lazy days playing trains, watching Dora and Diego and several of the Bowl Games, and luckily, taking naps. Today held true to that relaxing pattern as we enjoyed church and went to lunch with friends... Yesterday was slightly different.

Yesterday we attended baby Riley's memorial service. From the moment I found out the details of the service, there was no question in my mind that I would be going. I asked Dusty if he would go with me and without hesitation he said "yes"; although in his voice I could hear some reservation. He has been very protective of me, both mentally and physically, and I think he really feared how I would hold up attending a service of a baby who, in so many ways, seems so similar to Maddox. After dropping off Deacon with our brother and sister-in-law, we made our way to the church for the service.

I really felt fine all the way there, and then, as we pulled in and were listening to KSBJ, the Casting Crowns song "East to West" started playing. My body took over as my arm flung across the dash to shut off the radio... too late! The tears were already coming as I looked across the parking lot to see people walking into the church in their black attire. As Dusty put the car in park, I took off my sunglasses to wipe my eyes. I kept thinking, "I know I can do this... for Christie... for me," but in that moment it all seemed uncertain. Dusty took my hand and looked at me, "I want you to remember something... this is not Maddox's funeral." He reminded me that we were there to support my friend, and although the situations seem very similar, we have no idea what the Lord has in store for us. Honestly, I felt annoyed and undoubtedly he could see it as I replied, "I know, but I would be upset if this were any of our friends..." He said okay and left it at that. What an awesome man! No pushing, or "I know but" in return... just a simple okay~ he made his point and it was valid. It was needed. He was right... this wasn't our situation. Who knows? It could be, or it could be one of a million others... but in that moment I needed the reminder.

We walked in and took seats in the back. I think overall I was in control of my emotions, something I was very worried about prior to attending. It was difficult as Christie and James walked in with their Wesley and I watched her move to the front crying... my heart was (and is) broken for them. However, they did amazingly well and I know that it was due to all the prayers for them. Thank you also to all of those praying for us yesterday, and to my sweet friends praying specifically for peace and control for me... the Lord came through once again in a very evident way.

It was a very sweet service~ short, heart-felt and loving. It was a wonderful tribute to who the Lord called Riley to be in his brief life here, and what He has done through Riley's parents. Their faith and willingness to continue, in the face of great uncertainty, was celebrated. There was a slide show of the amazing time they spent with their little 3lb. 7 1/2oz. boy and a beautiful picture at the front. It was so important for me to be there. To be there for Christie, to be there as a witness to the life they gave this child, to be there for me to see first hand that life does go on, and to remember that through it all, God is still in control. It was a blessing for me to sit in that room with about 40 other people and know that the Lord was saying to them, "Well done, good and faithful servant(s)." (Matthew 25:21)

As I realized yesterday was the 5th of January and we are scheduled for the 5th of February... things have started seeming a little more real. My parents and sisters have booked their flights and hotels to come and stay, we met with the hospital staff and were showed around the NICU and L&D, and a sweet friend has asked to do one more prayer service as we are within the final weeks. Wow... so much going on~ many of these things a family should never have to do to plan for the earthly arrival of their son, and yet needed. We need the preparation and we are thankful for the time to enjoy our sweet boy while he is here with us... his little hiccups and all!

I would ask each of you, as you are lifting up our family, to continue to pray for God's will to be very evident in the decision-making process once Maddox is born. I continue to be concerned that we will know the "right" things to do for this child, so we are asking that He will be ever-present and guide us through. We are also asking that you would pray for steady weight gain. I know that a 2lb baby can survive, but I also know that a 3 or 4lb baby has better chances in all that we are up against. Again... THANK YOU! Your prayers and support have truly been life-changing... one of the many unexpected blessings on this journey we are walking!

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your path." Proverbs 3:5-6