Routines & Quitting
I hear it all the time, and often say it to myself. I NEED to get back into a routine. Eating well. Working out. Going to bed early enough that when my 5am alarm goes off I'm not zombie-walking through the morning.
I've been thinking about routines lately. So often we crave routines because it gives us a sense of security; a sense of control. Routines help us account for what is supposed to happen in our day. Statistics say routines help people achieve predictability. Routines help people in a time of "other" change be able to self-regulate and count on some structure. Of course we know every pediatrician recommends routines for our munchkins so their bodies know how to operate best.
And girl, if you're anything like me, you might love routines too! This year as my kiddos were heading back to school I couldn't WAIT to get into some sort of predictable schedule (since Dusty and I both own our own businesses and work from home, it can be a free-for-all sometimes 😏). Selfishly it's about me maximizing my day and getting the most.done.possible! But as fast as you can say "shut the front door!", I want to flip the coin. With routine comes expectations and high-demands on your time. With routine comes lots of running around and shuffling people to and from. And when we're holding on so tightly to routines, to expectations of what things should look like, we often miss the opportunity to "adventure" a little. To say yes, even though the tug is to say no. To follow a rabbit trail. To learn and grow and explore.
It's a tug-o-war in my mind. I craaaave routine. But then I think back to my life in the corporate world that was filled with routine. When I would literally show up at an appointment and for the LIFE of me could not even remember the car ride there. Like I was truly on auto-pilot. And that's just a smidge terrifying. Routine is good until you're functioning on automatic and are just wading through life. Or are zipping through it at NASCAR speed and there's no exit in sight.
As I've thought more and more about it, I think that for me routine is tied to the busyness... and there are seasons in life that are just FREAKIN' busy. Can I get an AMEN?! But I've been asking myself, "Kenz, is there ever margin in your life to slow it down? To be more intentional?" Am I always be so committed and so convinced in my ways that I can't possibly consider another way? Is there margin to break from the strongly-held belief that says we HAVE to be so busy, with such full plates that there is never room for something (or someone) else?
I love how Bob Goff (Author of New York Times Best-Selling Book Love Does) says he quits something every Thursday! I completely laughed out loud when he said it in a message, but then I camped out there a bit longer. You better believe I am one of those VERY committed people and when I say I'm going to do something, well, come Hell or high water I'm gonna do it. BUT, I've slowly come to grips with the fact that not everything has to be 100%. Or can be. We just don't have the capacity to operate at that speed in every arena of life. And that's hard for a former perfectionist to admit. So maybe there is something we start... we try... we love... and then weeks, months, years down the road decide it's not where we're being called any longer and we quit. (I mean, not your marriage! Or peace-out on your parenting. I'm talking a book club, bingo night, saying yes to everyone and feeling drained all the time. Maybe you stop letting your kids talk back to you, quit eating from the fridge light at midnight, or quit putting off your husband.) Maybe we need to consider quitting in one capacity to be open to something we're more passionate about. Maybe we quit giving up too easily. Or quit letting a friend make us feel less-than. Sometimes we have to QUIT judging. Quit thinking we're always right. Quit deciding we know better for others than they know for themselves. Sometimes even quit grasping on to an idea of how we think something/someone really is until we've explored it ourselves.
I'm not sure what you need to quit. Worry, judgement, fear, gossip... being too busy or distracted or prideful. I have more than a few things on my list that I need to quit so selfishly, I'll just focus on me 😉. I'll be honest, the Lord is working on me in a big way in this area. Quitting some things so I have an even greater ability to pick up the things He's holding out to me. When my hands are so filled with "extra", I can't accept the perfect gifts He has in His outstretched hand right in front of me. In routine I often get complacent, so I'm going to try to mix it up to see what God is offering.
No doubt there's always something we need to START, something we need to STOP (or quit), and something we need to KEEP doing! Do any immediately come to mind for you? Do you LOVE or LOATHE routine... or is it a love/hate like I have?
(A break from our routine to invest in our marriage... AND have fun at a party in LA!!)
"The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives." Psalm 37:23
I've been thinking about routines lately. So often we crave routines because it gives us a sense of security; a sense of control. Routines help us account for what is supposed to happen in our day. Statistics say routines help people achieve predictability. Routines help people in a time of "other" change be able to self-regulate and count on some structure. Of course we know every pediatrician recommends routines for our munchkins so their bodies know how to operate best.
And girl, if you're anything like me, you might love routines too! This year as my kiddos were heading back to school I couldn't WAIT to get into some sort of predictable schedule (since Dusty and I both own our own businesses and work from home, it can be a free-for-all sometimes 😏). Selfishly it's about me maximizing my day and getting the most.done.possible! But as fast as you can say "shut the front door!", I want to flip the coin. With routine comes expectations and high-demands on your time. With routine comes lots of running around and shuffling people to and from. And when we're holding on so tightly to routines, to expectations of what things should look like, we often miss the opportunity to "adventure" a little. To say yes, even though the tug is to say no. To follow a rabbit trail. To learn and grow and explore.
It's a tug-o-war in my mind. I craaaave routine. But then I think back to my life in the corporate world that was filled with routine. When I would literally show up at an appointment and for the LIFE of me could not even remember the car ride there. Like I was truly on auto-pilot. And that's just a smidge terrifying. Routine is good until you're functioning on automatic and are just wading through life. Or are zipping through it at NASCAR speed and there's no exit in sight.
As I've thought more and more about it, I think that for me routine is tied to the busyness... and there are seasons in life that are just FREAKIN' busy. Can I get an AMEN?! But I've been asking myself, "Kenz, is there ever margin in your life to slow it down? To be more intentional?" Am I always be so committed and so convinced in my ways that I can't possibly consider another way? Is there margin to break from the strongly-held belief that says we HAVE to be so busy, with such full plates that there is never room for something (or someone) else?
I love how Bob Goff (Author of New York Times Best-Selling Book Love Does) says he quits something every Thursday! I completely laughed out loud when he said it in a message, but then I camped out there a bit longer. You better believe I am one of those VERY committed people and when I say I'm going to do something, well, come Hell or high water I'm gonna do it. BUT, I've slowly come to grips with the fact that not everything has to be 100%. Or can be. We just don't have the capacity to operate at that speed in every arena of life. And that's hard for a former perfectionist to admit. So maybe there is something we start... we try... we love... and then weeks, months, years down the road decide it's not where we're being called any longer and we quit. (I mean, not your marriage! Or peace-out on your parenting. I'm talking a book club, bingo night, saying yes to everyone and feeling drained all the time. Maybe you stop letting your kids talk back to you, quit eating from the fridge light at midnight, or quit putting off your husband.) Maybe we need to consider quitting in one capacity to be open to something we're more passionate about. Maybe we quit giving up too easily. Or quit letting a friend make us feel less-than. Sometimes we have to QUIT judging. Quit thinking we're always right. Quit deciding we know better for others than they know for themselves. Sometimes even quit grasping on to an idea of how we think something/someone really is until we've explored it ourselves.
I'm not sure what you need to quit. Worry, judgement, fear, gossip... being too busy or distracted or prideful. I have more than a few things on my list that I need to quit so selfishly, I'll just focus on me 😉. I'll be honest, the Lord is working on me in a big way in this area. Quitting some things so I have an even greater ability to pick up the things He's holding out to me. When my hands are so filled with "extra", I can't accept the perfect gifts He has in His outstretched hand right in front of me. In routine I often get complacent, so I'm going to try to mix it up to see what God is offering.
No doubt there's always something we need to START, something we need to STOP (or quit), and something we need to KEEP doing! Do any immediately come to mind for you? Do you LOVE or LOATHE routine... or is it a love/hate like I have?
(A break from our routine to invest in our marriage... AND have fun at a party in LA!!)
"The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives." Psalm 37:23
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