On the Other Side...

If I were on the other side of this blog and hadn't walked this journey, I would still be acting like I had it all together.

... I would still be worrying about my house being clean instead of sitting on the floor and playing with my child.
... I would still be easily sidetracked with the latest news or Hollywood gossip instead of investing in mine and others' eternity.
... I would still be thinking about how mundane my days can become instead of how lucky I am to be home and watch my child grow.
... I would still be concerned about how close my children are in age instead of how much they could love each other.
... I would still be frustrated when my child is sick or needy instead of how thankful I am to have a healthy child that can challenge me.
... I would still be talking a hundred miles an hour instead of listening to truly understand.
... I would still be saying I am going to pray for you and getting too busy and forget.
... I would still be worrying about my agenda for life instead of listening to God's.

If I were on the other side of this blog, I would think "she sure has been through a lot" and "I feel so sorry for them" and quietly be so thankful that it wasn't happening to me.

But then...

I wouldn't have been blessed to see the face of my second son.
I wouldn't have known such tremendous love and such devastating loss.
I wouldn't have been able to see how the Lord can work through such uncertain times.
I wouldn't have been brought to my knees and my face in prayer.
I wouldn't have had this heart for families that have lost a child.
I wouldn't have known what it meant to truly long for Heaven.
I wouldn't have understood peace that passes all understanding.
I wouldn't have met such amazing people that have strengthened and sustained me.
I wouldn't have been overwhelmingly surrounded by friends and family.
I wouldn't have known the meaning of being united in everything with my husband.
I wouldn't have had such a beautiful way to share about Heaven with Deacon.
I wouldn't have witnessed how God can dramatically answer prayer.
I wouldn't have been on the receiving end of such love and service to our family.
I wouldn't have realized how short, yet precious life can be.
I wouldn't have understood what Christ means by trusting Him in all circumstances.
I wouldn't have felt the Lord carry us as we persevere under trial.
I wouldn't have been able to share our testimony of His faithfulness with so many people.
... I simply wouldn't have understood how God's plan could be fulfilled through a baby that just lived an instant...

I wouldn't have known my Maddox.

If I were on the other side of this blog, I would still be a mother, a wife, a daughter, a friend that sought to understand suffering and trials... Now I can be that person, because I do.


(The inspiration for this post is from my sweet friend Jessica Pruitt- THANK YOU!)

"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial because when he has stood the test, he will received the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."- James 1:12